Two: Facing the Issue (poem)

She wishes on a star to be finished
with the worry of something needed everyday.

You Don’t Know Her</b

Coping through PoetryI appreciate all the notes I’ve been receiving, none of which say “snap out of it,” or “just die already.” It makes me feel not so alone.

It’s 4 in the morning right now and like always, I’ve having trouble sleeping. I had a episode yesterday. I do not feel like eating. The worst part about that is, my boy-friend made me eat because he fixed dinner and I did. I went immediately to the restroom. I did not know he was “worried” about me, and he was standing outside the door while I was throwing my meal away into the toilet. *Sighs*

I guess I will post a poem now. It is about my struggle with anorexia.

I watch the numbers flash in my eyes,
As I worriedly glance at my thighs
Three digit reasons to feel the tension
As self-discipline gets all my attention
Everyday I wake to the fat I’m showing
It’s a battle in my skin that keeps growing
I can’t sleep until a hundred completed
I have to be sure daily intake is defeated
Measuring every ounce that is ingested,
I worry that my sanity is being tested.
Just enough to get me through the day,
If eaten too much, I’ll throw it all away.
A lost girl struggling with her addiction,
Makes one last attempt to end her condition.
I look in the mirror and see my rival,
In my demise, no skills for survival
Wondering if this habit will ever fade,
I close my eyes and drift away
To a world where numbers don’t even exist
and life isn’t measured by the size of your wrist.
In my dreams, my tongue it can taste
Everything that isn’t proof of my enlarged waist.
But as I wake up to the sun and its beam,
I get out of bed and start over my routine.

Sincerely,
Katrina