Twenty-Five: The Somber Breakdown

Twenty-Five

I come here with news that may trigger. My eating disorder has come back ….though it never left. For a little while, I was recovered and beginning to eat. I was replacing my endeavors with happier things. I began a new relationship (with someone who I care for so deeply.) However I am sad to report that the relationship is ending – before it even got started. I don’t even understand. How can one care about someone so much in this little amount of time to only watch it slip through your fingers like sand? Gosh why do I always do this?

I lash out and can’t deal with things….and I end up pushing others away. I won’t allow myself to be happy because I feel so much guilt.

Back to my eating disorder, I fear the worst. I haven’t been eating right for a couple months. My weight is decreasing and I am almost back down into the jeans I wore when it all began.

I may edit this later. I hope everyone is doing well on their recovery!

Sincerely
Katrina

Edit: While living in someone else’s “home” (actually a dorm room) my eating disorder resurfaced hardcore. I hardly ate anything and walked around campus most of the day. At night I would be so shaky that I couldn’t hardly sleep. I was trying to live on spinach and lettuce. My “friend” tried to incorporate other foods into my diet. (I guess it was tremendously obvious I had a issue…LoL.) I may edit this again later…sorry!