Six: Running in the Rain

She cuts herself to forget him
And every time her wounds get deeper
Tonight’s the night she’s gonna shed her skin
Cause she’s thinkin that he doesn’t need her
She’s wishing all this would end
And she’s gonna try to take her own life again

Suicidal LoveLately I’ve been thinking of life and it’s endeavors. It seems so unreal sometimes how I’m even still here. So many suicide attempts gone unsuccessful. So many people calling me stupid, ungrateful, or spoiled. How I find the courage to breath is not in my comprehension anymore. However, I must say one thing: a suicide letter. If I had to write one, I think it would say.

Dear Katrina,

I’ve been watching you from a distance and notice all your pain that you try to hide and cover up with ribbons and bows. You can no longer run from it. It’s time to face it. It’s time to say goodbye to all the pain and suffering you’re enduring. It’s finally time to let it go. However before you walk through the shadow of death, it’s time to pay your respect to the people who helped you walk the light of life.

To my dear mother – always supportive and kind. You worked so hard to provide for the family and never asked for anything in return. You must understand this is not your fault. You deserve the world, and someday, it will happen. Someday – someone will take care of you and allow you to relax. You’re so amazing and the strongest person I know. Please be strong and remember, this is for the best. Don’t lose focus.

To my dear friends – you all know who you are. Together, we faced drama and laughter. Pain and tears. Understanding and scorn. However these are memories made and I will never forget them….

I can’t finish this letter. I’m getting to into it and that scares me to death. I don’t know what is wrong with me. This depression is taking its toll….help me?