to date

In September my divorce was finalized. It was a break that was a long time in coming. It was the formal end of a relationship that ended a long time ago. There was a lot that built up to it. I can’t say that I did anything less than my best to make the relationship work. I’ve spent a lot time since I was run out of the house analyzing myself. Reflecting. Trying to understand. I’m not perfect. I made mistakes. I wasn’t good with money. Never had been. I wasn’t a monster. I wasn’t hurtful. There are things I would do different’y If I could. But what ended it was beyond me. It wasn’t something I did or didn’t do. It ended because of….that’s for her to learn.
In the meantime I’m trying to move on. I’m getting used to my new life. Working on figuring out what it means for me. Making my plans for my future. Keeping busy.
I miss my kids. I haven’t seen them in a year. This isn’t what I wanted for them. It’s going to take a long time before I can see them again. One of these days I will see them again.