2/11/18

I’m listening to the rain and wishing there was someone to listen to it with. I’m want the simple quiet times. I want to watch start trek with someone. To sit and play silly video games with. To go on walks with. Just simple quiet times. At times it doesn’t make sense given the last few days. But then again the relationship was over long before she ran me out of the house. I was just staying for the kids. It’s been so long so since I could hold someone. And I’m scared of being used since that has already happened in my life. It leaves me a little conflicted. I’ve been trying the use dating apps. I don’t get many hits. One person I met had a great connection with me but she couldn’t deal with the fact that there were kids in my life. Another woman has been on a date with me but right now there just isn’t much of a connection. She’s nice. The date was nice. And that’s all I can say about it. I try to talk her via text but she doesn’t really say much so the conversations just kind of die. I’m debating as to there will be a second date. If there is a second and I can’t find a connection then that will probably be as far as it goes. In the mean time I still want to hold someone. I want to be heald.