Ok sooo…

Well this is only my second entry and i want to say so much but i dont know where to start! So me and jeff are actually fighting at this moment! (Jeff being my 41 year old married boyfriend) Let me start at the beginning of the day.. Well me and Caylen ( my 4 year old daughter) got up later then i had wanted this morning, but i was woke up by my step dad aka TB screaming at me, mind you me and Caylen were sleeping! But any ways he was yelling at me about sometining that did not get taken out to the garbage! So i got up took it out and he continues to yell at me about some random stupid things, tells me to pack up my " damn Shit" and get out if i dont want to follow the rules! Rules what the hell is he talking about? But any ways all this yelling and screming he is doing wakes Caylen up crying! So that was the start of the morning!…….. So then i am calling Charlie (Caylen’s Dad) all moring and he is not answering! (He watches her everyday so that we dont have to pay day care) (sence it does not give me any money at all) Sooo…. then i get to work, Now i work in a grocery store i am what you would say a Instock Supervisor… So i dont run a register any more, and if i am not there my work just does not get done, its not like i have to have to be there every day! So i left to go to his house cause he is still not answering! When i get there he states that he was in the er with his girl friend last night and he has to work today for whatever reason so he cant watch her!….. Ok so this means i have to go back to work and tell them that i cant work today! thank GOD that theese people understand that my hands were tied! Now i know that i need a new job but where else am i going to be that lucky to have understanding bosses!…. So then after that i go to theese apartments where i have been trying to get in for the longest time! They say i have been denied! Ok  OMG how much worse can the day get… So i go back home change clothes clean up and meet up with jeff for lunch (me jeff and Caylen) and then we stopped by a few places to get some applications and then when to his truck to watch a movie with caylen! and all say i kept looking at him like i was confussed…. I know that i love him, but then sometimes im like am i sure or am i just settleing for the next person that payed attention to me, or am i using him for a way out of my parents house and dont even realize it! Sooo here i am at a wall in my life! Where do i go? i dont make enough money to live on my own and in order to get another job i would have to put caylen in day care and then move so that i can breathe…. I dont know! Well lets see where this goes i guess maybee i should get my ass back into church, and i should pray, Then just maybe i will see the answer!

Lost and Confused,

       Christine Elizabeth @}———