Can anyone help?

Do you ever feel like writing (typing) and you don’t really know what to say??

I want to write down anything butI don’t have anything in particular to write about… Maybe its time for a mental vacation… Hmmmm…

Well not sure how far I have gone into telling you about this guy that I am seeing right now but he is a Police Officer, and we have been "Dating" since March 2,2010 and he is really cool I like him a lot… the funny thing is we have not met yet!! I know Lol… But anyways we are getting together for the first time next friday.. I am kinda nervous!! I wonder if he is going to change how he feels when he meets me??

Another thing is we just spent the last 2 days not talking as much as we normally do… Well of course because of my relationship past I automatically start wondering and pondering about who he may or may not be talking to… and if it is possible that he has been lieing to me the whole time you know!! I am wondering is he married? is he getting married? lol… I know my mind just keeps going but it is so hard to not think like that because of everything that has happened to me in the past I mean seriously the guy that i was talking to before this one, ended getting married and his fiance called me and said that when he told me he was going on vacation to tenn he was actually getting married!!!! OMGosh the stories I have about guys i see… Seriously I should write  a book about all of them… Its pathetic!!

Anyways so he is coming to see me and we are suppose to spend the day together… I dont know how to control my trust feelings..

I don’t know how to make myself trust someone… even though I know I should cause he hasnt given me any reason not to trust him!!

What do I do?

What if though the feelings I am having are right? What if its a natural instinct?

I normally only feel like this when something is usally wrong! But then again I have yet to date a man  that has not lied to me!!

What to do?

Christine Elizabeth