3/11/07

so on average now, the depression is only claming about 1 day out of every 2.5 weeks. that is a drastic improvement over my high school low of about 14 days out of every 2 weeks. you might argue that it’s not depression when it’s so unfrequent, but i would argue against you because of the way it feels, which i do not care to describe now, and because of the way i am depressed about nothing and everything all at once. ie, it feels just like my real depression from high school, just way less often. which is good.

and i should have seen this one coming, and i kind of did. it has been building up for a while with the multiple stressors and changes i have in my life right now so it was due to manifest itself sometime soon.

i don’t want pity. i don’t want sympathy. i just want it to end. and it will. i’ll probably wake up tomorrow and feel 90% better. i just need to write about it now to get through it.

and on a positive note, i think the excercise program i just started has been in fact helping. i think it managed to stave the feeling off for quite a bit longer than normal and hopefully working out later tonight will release all that endorphin shit which will make me happier. cause that’s what science says.