1/17/07

it feels good to be sad for real, tangible, potentially fixable reasons. it feels empowering to me. it is much nicer than being gloomy because of vague problems that have loomed overhead for years. perhaps i am on an anger adrenaline rush. no one has ever made me angry as intensely or as often as cristin, my ex-roommate. i’m not an angry person. i’m rather hard to anger, in fact, because i am pretty forgiving and would rather keep the peace. i could even overlook the complete lack of responsibility, but the constant lying and dishonesty and self-defensive covering up gets to me.

bitch gonna go down. no, not really. but bitch will tell me what’s really going on and why we have a 200 dollar bill being sent to collections when we moved out six months ago and she should have taken care of it six months ago and i won’t be walked all over this time.

despite all the shit, i am sorry to lose her friendship over her total irresponsibility, because we had a lot of fun together and i think we understood each other. but there is no way i could respect myself if i forgot and forgave the past year’s worth of transgressions.

none of this probably would have happened if i weren’t so goddamn nice and trusting in the first place.