Getting up to speed.

There’s been so much going on in my life.  So let me just go through some of the high points since 2009.

1.  If memory serves (and based on my old password that I mentioned in my previous entry), I was dating a guy, M, when I left.  Well, things exploded with him in early 2010 and he faded from my life.  We actually got together a time or two in 2010 and 2011 just for sex.  However, I got tired of his many issues (including his tendency to disappear completely unless he wanted something) and told him to take a hike in January 2012.  I just didn’t want him coming and going in my life.

2.  In the summer of 2010, I met another guy, D.  Originally he was supposed to be a casual/one time fling (see Point 4 for more about my developing sexual ethics and sexual escapades), but I fell for him hard.  Unfortunately, he turned out to be completely bad news and had a tendency to be manipulative.  I broke it off with him completely at the beginning of 2011, then he came back into my life that same Spring and seemed to be better.  I realized it was all an act and permanently tossed him from my life in June of that same year.  It was hard.

3.  One of the few benefits of the nightmare year with D was that I realized I had some problems of my own and I ended up seeking professional counseling.  My therapist, an incredible woman named Felicia, led me to realize that I was codependent and we began to work through my issues and find ways for me to make healthier choices in my life, set boundaries, and find ways to reinforce my sense of self worth that did not involve being other people’s "support" or "salvation."

4.  After ending things with M, I decided I was truly tired of constantly trying to "find love" and getting too serious about relationships too quickly.  I decided it was time to try more casual sexual relationships.  So for the next two years, I had a number of one night stands, tried a couple "friends with benefits" type situations, and so on.  In a matter of one year, I think my total number of sex partners in my entire life quadrupled.  I can’t say that I regret any of it, though there were a few hiccups along the way and I would not repeat some of those experiences now if given the chance.  But overall, I think it was necessary.  It also gave me the chance to acknowledge and accept that while I want love, commitment, and a long-term relationship, there are also times when I just want a good romp while I wait for all that other stuff and that’s perfectly okay.

5.  In late 2011, I started a new writing project that I’ve tentatively named "A Change of Mind."  It’s a novel about a gay guy in his late twenties who is trying to figure out how to improve his life so he’s more satisfied with it.  I haven’t worked on it in almost a year, but hope to get back to it.

6.  In September of 2014, I had a fairly major health crisis.  I ended up going to the emergency room for congestive heart failure, then spent eight days in the hospital as they got more than fifty pounds of excess water out of my system.  They’re still not entirely sure what caused the CHF.  My cardiologist (who is adorable) tends to focus on the fact that my high blood pressure and diabetes (both of which were out of control at the time, as I hadn’t seen a doctor since sometime in 2005), though various doctors have also mentioned that things could have gotten started by my body having a bad reaction to a virus.  (Those doctors think that even with my blood pressure and diabetes where they were, 39 seemed awful young for me to be going through CHF).  The good news, however, is that my doctors and I have gotten things under control and other than still needing to tweak my medicines (something that we may have to do periodically for the rest of my life anyway), I’m in pretty good health now.

7.  As a result of the health issues, I’ve rediscovered my love of cooking.  Before the trip to the hospital, I was doing a lot of takeout, delivery, and ready-made foods for meals.  All that stuff is horribly high in sodium, so I had to cut it out.  Fortunately, I had a six quart crockpot (and my mother bought me a 3.5 quart one for Christmas), so I was able to arrange my schedule so that I can do the bulk of my cooking on weekends.  To the right is a picture of my six quart crockpot full of the beef stew I made this past weekend.  Fortunately, I also got a chest freezer so I can store a lot of leftovers for months. (I currently have a two to three month supply of dinner entrees.

8.  I also helped found a local coven.  We’ve been in operation for the past five years.  We currently only have four members, the four of us who founded it.  We’ve had a number of affiliate members (and two affiliates who briefly became full members), but most of them chose to move on for various reasons.  We do have one affiliate who just recently joined us.  We’re all hoping this one sticks around, as it’d be nice to permanently grow our number a bit.

9.  I actually personally mentored one of the members that have since left our coven.  She came to our coven with strong mediumship abilities, and they were interfering with her life.  As I’m the only founding member with mediumship ability (and some degree of training), it fell to me to help and teach her.  It was a wonderful experience and I learned a lot and gained a great deal of confidence from working with her, though it also took a lot out of me when she chose to leave the coven.  It was a messy departure.  In some ways, I hope to help someone else like that again some days.  At the same time, I’m leery because of how things ended.

I think that covers all the highlights.