An example of why I like Peterson Toscano

Peterson Toscano is one of the founders of Beyond Ex-Gay (bXg), a site set up for those who have tried to change their sexual orientation from gay to straight but are now living as openly gay individuals. In addition to the site, bXg has organized a couple of conferences and a number of other events to share their past experiences of trying to divest themselves of their romantic and sexual feelings and attractions.

In a recent blog post, Peterson talks about an excerpt from an email bXg recently received. He also posted his reply to the email in full, which is well worth the read.

Another part of his post jumped out at me as I read it, and it is this other part that I wanted to focus on:

Without revealing the person’s identity except to say his name is Steve, I shared the e-mail with the high school students in the workshop I co-facilitated (Xtreme Quakerism!) We held meeting for worship with attention to Steve. In the stillness of worship I read the message and we held Steve in the Light and prayed for him. If during our worship they had something they wanted to say to Steve, they spoke it out. Based on their ministry, I wrote Steve the following response.

Read that first sentence closely. Before answering this email, Peterson decided that he wanted to get input from other people. That in itself is a highly admirable course of action. But what I find even more striking and praisworthy is that one group of people Peterson chose to seek input from was a group of high school students. He believed they had something of value that could help Steve, and he asked for their contributions (and reading Peterson’s response, I’d say they rose to the challenge beautifully).

Back in my days of being involved in church leadership, I worked with the youth a lot. (It’s one of the few things about church that I actually miss.) One of the things that I learned is that a lot of adults didn’t really value youth. They saw them as not old enough or not mature enough to have anything to offer. I always felt this was a great tragedy, as it not only left our youth feeling impotent, but it also robbed the rest of the church (and the community around us) of the precious gifts our teens had to share.

Because of this, it warms my heart to see someone like Peterson Toscano who recognizes the value of teens and their contributions to the worlds. It fills me with joy to know that he encouraged them to offer their thoughts on a difficult and painful topic. It warms my heart to see that he not only took their feedback, but acknowledged it when he wrote his response to Steve, allowing their contribution to shine. He’s a guy that gets it.

I’ve been following Peterson’s blog and those parts of his life he chooses to share on his blog for a little over a year ago. He’s always struck me as a man of compassion who values everyone around him. His choice to seek and affirm the input of a small group of high schoolers is just one shining example of that.