It’s never what you expect.

Well… things sure are moving fast.  The wedding is exactly 2 months away, and all that’s left is my hair and makeup, the food and drinks, and the music for the ceremony.  There are a few little things also like the marriage liscense and what not, but that’s a given.  I’m pretty scared of it.  My sister asked me the other day "Heidi, is he the love of your life?"  My answer was, "Most days."  He seems so sure that I am the right one for him.  He really is good to me.  He buys my groceries, gives me tons of attention, is always there to listen even when I’m yelling and mad about something he did.  He always tries to fix it if he’s made me mad or sad…. I’ve even lost a litle wieght, and he makes me feel really good about it.  Bought me 2 of the cutest bunnies anyone has ever seen, their names are Tanner and Bitsy.  But why the hell do I feel like I can’t answer for sure that he is the one for me.  I start thinking about marriage and kids and 20 years from now, and I just can’t picture it!  What does that mean?  I don’t want him out of my life, but I am so scared to go through with all of this.  I guess I was just expecting something more.  Something… different.

It’s not that I don’t love him.  I just wonder if I’m still IN love with him…  Everything is just moving so fast.