All A Bad Dream

Last week didn’t even feel real.  I just got home from New York yesterday… we went for a funeral.  My Grandmother passed away.  She was only 75. 

It’s unbelievable because of how fast it all happened.  One day she was as good as she could be, up and about doing her usual grandmother stuff, and the next she was complaining about a pain in her side.  She just thought it was muscle cramps so she didn’t go to the doctor.  I mean when you get older you get weird random pains, so you usually write them off at first.  Well, 2 weeks went by and she still had the pain; only it’d gotten worse. 

She went to the hospital and was admitted on Monday June 2nd (even though the doctor said she was supposed to be admitted on Friday), they thought it was Gall Stones at first with the simptoms she was having.  I guess she also had an infection when she went, so they couldn’t run all the tests they wanted to, they called it a biopsy.  So instead they did an MRI and some more tests on Tuesday, this revealed that she did not have any Gall Stones, but that her liver had many lesions on it.  Now they thought at that point that it was an agressive form of cancer.  I guess the hospital she was at wasn’t equipped to treat that kind of sickness, so they prepared her on Wednesday to be transported to the hospital in Burlington Vermont and in the process of the move, they lost all her tests and had to start from square one.  But they never got to treatment because my Granmother died at around 3 a.m. on Thursday morning June 5th.  From my understanding it was from a blood clot in her heart which caused her to go into cardiac arrest.  

My father told me about her being in the hospital.  I didn’t think it was that bad, because the version I got was that she had Gall Stones and she would be better after her surgery scheduled on Friday when the stones were removed.  I never was told about the worsening situation. 

I hadn’t really spoken to my grandmother in a while.  After my parents got divorced I was mad at her for forgiving my father so fast when he had litterally distroyed my mother.  And she had said a few things in a card she had sent that really upset me, but I think when I look back, she was only trying to make me feel better…  I invited her to my wedding last year and she came to it.  I was happy about that because I still love her, it’s just always a mess with families after a divorce. 

My father gave me her number at the hospital, and I didn’t call because I didn’t know what to say.  I thought a "get well soon" card would do the trick instead of me calling.  But now she’ll never receive it… and I never called… I thought she’d have at least a good ten years left in her, but I guess I was wrong.  Now she’ll never know that I forgave her and still loved her just as much as when my parents were still together… She sent me a "Happy Anniversary" card just 2 weeks before she went into the hospital… and she wrote in her email address and told me to send her pictures of my house and write her and tell me how I was doing… but I didn’t.  I really regret those things now…  I would give anything to know that she knew I still loved her, and I would give anything to have picked up that phone and gave her a call to hear her voice one last time and say goodbye.  

 I know my Grandfather will miss her, he loved her so much.  I am so sad for his loss.  He was making funeral arrangements on their wedding anniversary and burried her on his birthday… I can’t imagine how hard that must have been.  He was very happy we made it to the funeral though, and he asked me to write him regularly and keep in touch.  I plan on doing that very thing.  I am worried about him up there all alone in that huge house now.  I hope he is going to pull through this hard time…

Death happens too fast to some… and it leaves the living they left behind in pain and confusion.  I’ll miss my grandmother very much…

(The Watertown Daily TImes Article)

"Velma Marie Lines- Sunday June 8, 2008  

COLTON- The funeral Mass for Velma Marie Lines, 75, Colton, will be at 11 a.m. Wednesday at St. Patrick’s Church with the Rev. Raymond Moreau officiating. 

Burial will be in St. Patrick’s Cemetary.

Mrs. Lines died Thursday at Fletcher Allen Health Care, Burlington, VT.

Calling hours will be from 2 to 4 and 7 to 9 p.m. Tuesday at Seymour Funeral Home, Potsdam.

Born Aug. 3, 1932, in Faust, daughter of Roland and Lillian Woods Leroux, she attended Tupper Lake High School. 

She married Dean W. Lines on June 6, 1953, at Holy Name Catholic Church in Tupper Lake.

Mrs. Lines was an active member of St. Patrick’s Church choir, the Sweet Adelines choral group, and Colton Raquetteers choral group.

Surviving besides her husband are a son and his wife, Mark and Gail, Benbrook, Texas; three daughters and two sons-in-law, Mary and Sephen Sorrell, Salisbury, N.C., Diane and Frank Visconti, Rosevile, Calif., and Ann Ploof, North Lawrence; a brother and his wife, Richard and Betty Leroux, Acworth, GA.; three sisters, Shirley Guay, Glens Falls, Donna and Arthur Carrow, Liverpool and Susand and Lee Sabin, Cadyville; nine grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.

Donations may be made to St. Patrick’s Church, Colton Volunteer Fire Department or Sweet Adelines choral group."