say goodnight and go

“you’ve got a pretty starstruck boy on your hands.”
“oh dear. i don’t do well with responsibility.”
“you don’t have to be responsible for me; i can take care of myself. being starstruck just means i want to take care of you, too.”

spring break is over but it wasn’t enough time. it never is. i’m back home but my heart isn’t here with me.

“i should really get to sleep.”
“stay here with me.”
“what if i just fall asleep?”
“i will be heartbroken.”
“why?”
“because you will have left me.”
“only because you wouldn’t let me go.”

people have been noticing that i’m not there mentally anymore. fifteen or twenty people have asked what’s wrong in the last three days. even a couple of my teachers have asked what’s got me down.
if i said “i thought i’d lost my best friend,” they would’ve looked at me funny and said “you and kristin haven’t looked upset to me” and i wouldn’t disagree.
they think they know but they have no idea.

“it was like…a hope of finding happiness waiting on the other side of the horizon.”
“you knew there wasn’t happiness waiting there for you, didn’t you?”
“there is happiness in any situation if you know where to look.”