I’ll Believe…

…all of your lies
just pretend you love me
Make believe
Close your eyes
I’ll be anything for you.

She sits on the edge of the bed, butt of a cigarette between her fingers, elbows to knees, naked. On the floor a wine glass lays on it’s side. It’s crushed, of course. Flecks of wine hang from the broken spots like dilute blood. It still holds the shape of a glass, but the edges are jagged like a desert mountain that resembles teeth. Her heart beats slow, a warm rock in her chest, and she huddles around it. Her eyes are dry. She taps at a shard of glass with her big toe. It doesn’t cut her. She wishes it had.

If you want me
come and find me
nothing’s stopping you
so please release me.

His snores grate against the silence of the room. He’s sprawled out, nipples up, dick laying limp against his leg. The crumpled remains of his suit jacket hang over the corner of the bed. He sleeps the sleep of the innocent. The sleep of the dead. His even breaths signal trust. He doesn’t even know her name.

Nothing left to make me feel any more
There’s only you and every day I need more

Her nails are bit to the flesh. The insides of her fingers are stained with tobacco. Her hair hangs in stiff strands, once sweat drenched, now step too close to the candles, she’ll catch fire for sure. The candles sputter, burnt down to the quick, drowning in the pool of wax that once made them stand tall.

I’ll become your earth and sky
Forever never die
I’ll be (breaths) everything you need

He dreams of her. Not the girl he just fucked, though when pushed himself into her a half hour ago, he said he loved her. He dreams of his fantasy. The blond in the hot pink bikini who wouldn’t give him the time of day when he was fifteen. She’s been there, every time he came, running her baby pink nails through his hair, blowing on his ear, telling him how much he’s changed. He knows her name, but he never says it, afraid it will make her disappear.

I’d give anything to give me to you
Can you forget the world that you thought you knew?

Once upon a time, she dreamed of something better than this. Now she wonders if a half a bottle of aspirin will be enough to end it all. It’s not a thought that holds any intensity. In truth, it was all she could do to sit up, kick the glass, have a smoke. Her thighs are itchy with dried sex. She tells herself she needs a shower. Then she lays down beside him, slips her arm over his body and closes her eyes.

I’ll believe
all of your lies
just pretend you love me

Her breasts crush against him. He pulls her close, turns his head to her, places a kiss somewhere on her face. "Emily." he says. He doesn’t open his eyes. He wouldn’t change anything about this moment.

Make believe
Close your eyes
I’ll be anything for you.

Just pretend you love me,
I’ll be anything for you.

I’m trying to understand.

Italics: Evanescence – "Anything for You"