09/14/2012

I’m not too sure on how thins are with Rocky. I keep feeling like something is wrong, but then tell myself I’m just paranoid. I guess my fear stems from the fact that I only know what he’s told me. I don’t know any of his friends or anything. I’ve had multiple dreams about him leaving me/cheating on me with both guys and girls. I’m scared I don’t really know him. I may have written this before but I didn’t feel like reading through my entries and I guess it bugs me enough to write about again, if I did before.

I keep gaining weight. I was a size 16 when we got together and now I’m a size 20. I’ve always hated my body, and I used to work out all the time. But with taking care of my grandma I just haven’t been able to convince myself to do so. Sometimes I just want to lay in bed and sleep. Sometimes I wish I wouldn’t wake up.