The Abyss…

A funny thing…. My diary from a decade ago is beyond cringe worthy… It was literally a logged record of failed relationships, bad dates, even worse decisions… complaining about work, friend drama, fights with my mother… And tonight, I sat down with the intention to write about a couple of dates that I went on this weekend.

I guess somethings never change. LOL

I expect that when I read back on these initial entries in another 10 years, I’ll be equally disgusted by my stupidity. I guess it’s something to look forward to. The difference in a decade, is that the OLD me would have slept with one (or both) of my dates and been all locked down in a new relationship already. I’ve discovered that I finally have acquired the skill to be discerning, (Lord help me, it took long enough!) and I have definitely weeded one of the contenders out, while the other is one I would consider spending some time with in the future. I guess the last time I slept with someone for ‘fun’, I got pregnant, and subsequently tied into a relationship in where I lost more than a decade of my life to mediocrity. Not that Chad was a bad guy, but our relationship definitely lacked any intensity and/or passion. And now, I refuse to settle for anything that doesn’t have that oomph. I want fire, and I won’t compromise this time. Nor will I get pregnant. I feel like it’s mandatory to leave that foot note there. LOL

So, at any rate, Andrew seems like a nice guy. Smart, endearing, warm, conversational… we have a lot in common, and I left our date feeling pretty confident that we could be compatible. We talked for nearly three hours straight, followed dinner with a short walk and a coffee, and a nice hug… We have yet to commit to a second date, but we’ve been chatting through text, so I imagine it’s only a matter of time….

Sunday’s date did NOT go nearly as well. Jim actually is on the other side of the border, so I went across and we had an early dinner at the Olive Garden. (Which is awesome that he was willing to accommodate me, as I had to work Sunday night, and needed some zzz’s before work, so we met early). Jim has a really heavy sense of humour, some of which was lost on me, mostly because it doesn’t translate well through text… lol. He spent a lot of time messing around on his phone (texting his brother, so he claimed), and really made NO effort to help carry the conversation, which left me grappling for material to talk about. I’m a pretty open individual, but he literally gave me nothing to work with, so I was probably 20 minutes into our meal before I was really ready to throw stuff in takeout containers and head home. LOL. Truth be told, I think I filled up for gas at the 7-eleven before I left town and was back home again to grab a pizza for my kids in less than two hours – and that’s going through border patrol twice AND I hit Walmart before I came back! Definitely not going to be a second date there. Perhaps he was just as disenchanted.  Either way. It was an expensive and miserable two hours. LOL

And here I am. I’m actually enjoying the dating pool this time around… There’s no pressure – and I won’t commit to someone until I’m sure I’ve found someone that I really enjoy being with… I really am content in my own skin these days, and I’m happy to be trucking it out as a solo act. I can do what I want to do, when I want to do it. I have my kids, my fur babies, and my own self, and quite frankly, if someone doesn’t fit into our chaos, I can’t be bothered. lol

All right – life is calling (actually, it’s my bed calling; I have to work tonight!) and I need to get cracking. I love being able to just write freely again. OD, I’ve missed you tremendously. For those friends that I’ve reconnected with thus far, I am so happy to have you all back!!

Until Next time,

-Erika