Science Chaos, Hawaiian Chill
It has been a hectic few weeks, in part with work and in part with the news. On the work side, proposals were due this past Wednesday. In principal, we try to plan ahead and do as much writing and preparation as possible, but the reality is you have a lot to due before you’re ready to fully write things up. This two proposals were overall pretty neat and involved event-based imaging, basically based on the stuff I went down to Australia to learn about last summer. I like those guys down there for the most part (although Andre gave me one of those stealthy ‘middle fingers resting on his face’ vibes one afternoon), but they are slow to get writing into documents even when a deadline is coming up. As a result, we didn’t really get any of their text added to either document until Friday or Saturday, I think. Even so, I had work plans written up, along with deliverables, and objectives and one-pagers… it’s all very dry, isn’t it?
Back when I was a grad student, I always told myself ‘I’m grateful to be here and I’ll pitch in however I can to do some good science.’ Sometimes I think I should have aimed higher, but then I look back, and all the people trying to be theorists — the high profile, high prestige job in physics — were mostly miserable or struggling to graduate and write papers. I enjoyed my work learning about neutrinos and nuclear physics. It was stressful on many occasions, especially during long deployments for work, but the topic was fascinating and right up my alley. Many people dream of getting into particle physics and trying to redefine the whole standard model, which is of course a ridiculous pipe dream 99.99% of the time and way less fun that just turning nuts and bolts on an atom smasher and trying to make interesting measurements.
Me, I made my little dent in the world’s collective knowledge, moved onto a PostDoc, maybe made another small dent or two, and then ended up moving and getting this job in the space industry. Was it what I planned? No. Did I really have a longterm career plan? Not really. Well, I fell in love with a woman at Burning Man, we got married, and now we’re out in California. Overall, I’m happy, and have incredible memories, though I’m far from friends and family. Another surprise… now I’m PI on these damn proposals. PI! That’s the role you take when you become a professor. I always enjoyed teaching, but academia and the school system in general are both a mess right now, so oddly I’m not teaching, but I’m vying for funding from federal research grants and SBIRs like professors do.
That brings me to politics. Man, what a time… it’s chaotic out there, and nobody really knows what’s happening or what the consequences will be. Even the people in charge… ahem… *co-president Musk included*… seem not to fully understand the consequences of their actions. For a week or so, almost all scientific funding was frozen, and many federal scientists were completely silenced by orders from the top. If you work at NASA, NSF, NIH, and other major research labs you’re not allowed to speak to the public about it. It’s horrifying honestly… a major attack on freedom of speech and scientific communication. Some of my friends are scared. Some are already preparing to move overseas. Some grad students who are incredibly talented people, and who came here from abroad to do research, are now unsure if their paychecks will show up, or if they will be deported. It’s crazy… imagine deporting Einstein or Enrico Fermi and abruptly cutting their funding. It would have been a disaster. Today… it certain will be if it happens. I indirectly mentioned it to my dad, and he sort of said ‘Oh well they’re not going after people like you.’ He thinks I’m naive, and yet he doesn’t know anything about what’s really going on, or how I would be effected if I was still going to work at the reactor.
Case in point, I brought up AI and how it’s connected to my proposals, and he had no idea what ChatGPT or StableDiffusion are. I’m not particularly surprised, as he is not exceedingly tech savy (though he knows how to use a computer). It’s scary to think that people are calling the shots on such things, or voting in favor of them, and completely unaware of the forces shaping the world. Of course, I’m hoping for the best… but friend’s with LGBT kids or family working for the government are worried. Vets are worried about their pensions and their jobs. There is some uncertainty even over contracts with our business, and we are a small business so we can’t afford to have money suddenly disappear for work we’re already contracted to do. I suspect many more layoffs are to come, perhaps at Boeing and some other contractors.
Anyway, oof. What a time, eh? New OD seems to have a new crowd of users, so maybe this will rankle people. All I can say if you read this is, consider looking around somewhere that’s not the news and seeing what the scientists are saying. Perhaps you don’t trust scientists and doctors. It’s confusing out there, especially with bots and AI putting out false information, and very soon fabricated videos that look absolutely real. The technology is essentially already there. These scienstists are generally not people who live glamorous lives like Hollywood might make you think. In many cases, they make less money than I do. They may be living in Alabama, or Arkansas, teaching and quietly doing research like two of our collaborators.
Thankfully, my wife and I had a respite both from works and the news last week. Last year, we decided it would be nice to return to Hawaii if possible. I lived there for 7-8 years, and it was wonderful. Our friend Jake bought land on the big island and inspired us, and last year we did the same. Thanks to a few lucky investments by my wife, and some crypto I bought back in grad school (which would have been more, had Hawaii not effectively banned it) we were able to buy some farmland with a bunch of acres. This past week, we visited — boy is it a tangled jungle! But ah, big island is so beautiful. The rain and the frogs were relaxing, and the people are so nice, and we were grateful to visit and have some nice meals in Hilo. We even attended our HOA meeting, which was a laugh all on its own. Next, we need to go back and clear a driveway and do some work, but we need to save a little money first… and there are other things taking our attention at the moment. Luckily, we have stable jobs, and my direct paychecks doesn’t depend on federal labs… which was almost the direction my career went in. We’re looking forward to going back, and visiting again… and hopefully building our dream farm together.