Monday Motivation

I have a lot going on these days at work, and this week the return from the holidays really ramps up. I’ve been a bit anxious about it, and anxious about solving some of the problems I’m working on. Our software for moon imaging has been tricky to get working, and I know some big writing tasks will be on my plate. As I lay in bed in the cold of the morning, I woke up around 5:45, but rather than climb out of bed and go for my morning walk, I rolled over a few times and pulled the blankets tighter. Some times, I wonder, if this sort of technical work is really the right fit for me. Should I be a teacher? A medical physicist instead? What if I get fired? But I know I’m lucky to have my job, and that it’s a cool one. Whatever happens, I should enjoy it while I’ve got it.

Sometimes, I think we make a mountain out of a molehill. When we have a writing project to do — maybe something that’s 30 pages — it feels enormous, and it’s easy to forget the work we’ve already done, and the prior work we can borrow from the get started. I get this way with programming projects too, perhaps because I had a tough patch during my postdoc where the analysis wasn’t working out, and people thought I was “wrong,” but the data was real. Not my fault, but perhaps I could have presented better and been more convincing. Even so… no one was yelling at me or calling me a failure. The pressure I felt was mostly in my own head.

The reality is, I know how to get started on the net big things I have to do, and they won’t really be that bad. So my hope today is to put on some music I love, make it through my meetings, and kick ass at the stuff I have to do. And if today isn’t enough, maybe tomorrow will be. Have a good day everyone!