Incident of the Week 2: Move with Aloha Parade

On Thursday, Jake and I were biking back from free lunch at the Baptist church when we can to the main promenade of campus. It’s a long, palm tree-lined walkway that would be beautiful if it wasn’t perpetually marred by construction.

As we arrived, I saw a campus security officer guarding the path. Wanting to avoid confrontation, I hopped off my bike and walked it up the sidewalk. Lately, you see, campus has been making a big deal out of people biking and skateboarding to and from class (or just for recreation). I admit some people are pretty irresponsible, but I’ve never seen a campus so hostile to students trying to commute to class in a sustainable manner. There are no bike routes, no skate boards parks. Despite the fact that skateboarding is one of the only things kids do here in the evenings, the campus has effectively tried to “prohibit” and use of “coasting devices” that are for traveling to and from class. And when you are traveling, you’re supposed to hop off to stay out of people’s way.

To put it bluntly, the school refuses even to pay their own TAs enough to afford cars and mopeds, it doesn’t have enough parking for everyone, and it constantly advertises that people should commute in healthy and environmentally friendly ways. Nonetheless, they are essentially prohibiting skateboarding and biking. It’s unbelievably stupid. Somehow, the “old person” mentality of “These danged kids with their skateboards are up to no good!” has been made an official rule here on the college campus.

So yeah, Jake and I were biking our way back to the Physics building. He, being stubborn, refused to hop off his bike. The security officer shouted after him, but he kept going. Then, up ahead, another obstruction came into view. A parade of sullen looking students in green “Move with Aloha” shirts, carrying skateboards and walking their bikes, was crossing the middle of the promenade. Jake blazed past them, but them someone ran after him shouting his name. It was Bret!

Of all people, I guess he’s the one I would somehow most expect to participate in such an incident. Sure enough, he stopped me too, handed me a pamphlet, and reminded me not to be an asshole like Jake. Classic!