Love Me.

….and so here i sit, cobbled into the corner of the world that is le original "my room," looking, thinking, shirking, at the very consequences about to beseige me.

Tommorrow, it seems, i shall return in glorious ardor to my apartment, my current home, good ol’ St. Louis, and purport to begin my final semester of law school, and more importantly, school in general.

And i can think of exactly one thing i am truly looking forward to, one advantage which st louis has over my current predicament; my computer. These past 3 weeks have reminded me how good i have it, as my laptop, as pristine and delicate as it is, simply isnt up to par with a beast of a desktop. No lag, no framerates, no slowdown, it sings and whispers to me with a melody few girls can impart….truly, do i miss it.

On the other hand, already i sit in remembrance, thinking quietly about the joys of PA, the life, love, peace and beauty which i can only seem to find here. Tonight, after dinner, as my grandfather drove his dodge ram home, and my mother and i sat and chatted in the (middle) seat, i glanced out the window, caught the glint of the mountains across the torporic sunset, and had a doubletake. Lovely is the word, and a word i use often, but clearly not often enough.

Its something like 4am now, as i sit curled up in my powder-blue comforter, hunched over on my bed as only a true gothic boy could, and typetypetype away and desperately try to catch all these moments, to swallow and regurgitate all these emotions onto the page for later consumption. Before i have even begun i accept my almost assured failure, expecting nothing less than fragmented words, thoughts and sometimes even letters. Still, such fragments tend to at least refresh these moments when i go back and read them, and they allow, at least temporarily, for a smile, and a glimpse of things as they were.

But enough fancy words and thoughts, constructs and soliliquy, now, it seems, is the time for substance to sneak in:

A few things, over the past few days.

First, i spent last night (the 5th) hanging out with le boys, and playing all manner of card games, video games, and just general conversation. Played the wonderful game of Illuminati, and lost in a most embarrassing fashion the first game. The next game however, i won in a fashion most embarrassing to my opponents, and thus was redeemed. As the night drove on into the late hours (5am or so) and we fought the urge to sleep in attempts to prolong a commonly-acknowledged "last time together for months," i offered to run to the nearest lil’ store to pick up some tasty beverages.

AND I WAS PULLED OVER BY THE MOTHER——KING POLICE.

Yeah, he "thought" i was drinking; not quite. And the conversation went something like this:

C: Sir, are you lost?

E: Not exactly, i just thought i could ever the store from the sidestreet, but apparently that entrance is closed now.

C: You haven’t been drinking, have you?

E: Nope, i was just stopping in here to buy a gallon of iced tea.

C: I see. License and registration please

E: Sure, Sure

C: Do you still live at XXXXXXXXXXX

E: Well, thats my home address, but i go to LAW SCHOOL in Missouri; i don’t get to come home that often, and i guess they changed this store around since last Christmas.

C: Yeah, they did renovate it, hold one a sec while i run this through the computer real fast…." 

(a few seconds)

C: Ok well, you have a nice night Sir, sorry about the inconvience"

E: Thanks, you too.

-When i told this story to my family (which of course, i did at the most fan-fare-ic moment) they gasped and said "i can’t believe you would name drop like that to attempt to get out of a ticket"

-First of all, i did nothing wrong, that was just another bored officer pulling over the scarylooking guy in long hair if you ask me. Sorry, i dont drive that bad sober that a competant, non baised police officer would think i "had a couple."

But more importantly, i will name drop every chance i get when i cop stops me. Why? Because if i would get out of a 100 dollar ticket every WEEK, i would have to get out of one EVERY WEEK for EIGHTEEN YEARS for it to cover the cost of my law school education. Hell, even I am not that smooth.

-Another Point for St. Louis….i’ve lived there three years, never been stopped by the police. Come home to vist 1-2 times a year, for like 1-2 weeks at most, and i get pulled over. Keystone Cops for the loss.

Tonight we had a birthday party for my grandfather, who turns 80 tommorrow. We had it the night before because yours truly was returning to MO, and i purposely tried to stay in PA as long as i could hoping to celebrate. Almost all of the family was there, and i snuck into a game of uno and managed to beat all the 12 year olds, and in typical family fashion, gloat about it as if i had just discovered the cure for cancer. College education > a bunch of 12 year olds. Good to know.

Many good moments, i talked about the trials i had in Alaska, about the trial class i took, law school in general, and i helped one of my cousins choose if and where she will apply to college. The best moment of all though, came from my uncle, as i waved everyone goodbye, and headed home:

 "Hmmm…next time i see you, i’ll be calling you esquire."

-Its still one of those surreal moments. I really am going to be a lawyer. I am so close. So. Close. Less than 5 months, 2006 is going to be a good year!

One last moment: one of my friends from MO finally called me. (i hadn’t heard from any of them since i left) …guess which one. Sean? Nope. James? Nope. Ryan? Nope…..Anna? Yes. Of all the people who call and ask how i’ve been, and whether i’m back, its Anna. Anna,who in turn talks to me for a good 30 minutes or so, as we share holiday stories, and she mentions how Sean came to MD with her, and a whole bundle of other details. I of course, tell her i wont be in town until tommorrow night, but that i will get in in time to go out Saturday night. And her reply: Great E, because i have the PERFECT thing for us…..all my BLONDE friends are going to xxxxx (some place, i cant remember the name/wasn’t really listening, was instead, at that very moment picturing myself slathered in blonde girls) and what would be better if you came along, i know how much you love the cheerleader type, and ALL of these are the cheerleader type.

Damn, saturday night is raid night, and we were planning on killing Vael. Ah well, it looks like my guildmates are going to have to do it without the help of their #1 Paladin. haha.

<3 2006. Good start. Good fun, Good times.

Oodles o’ love,

Erotique