Well

So he will be coming to see me sometime this week. The roommate will be away.

I actually turned roommate down, this evening. I have never ever turned down a guy in my life

Ever.

Buuut …. I’m also like why now?

4 months in a row, you didn’t touch me once.

Now I’m zero interest and now you want some?

Nope nope nope

I can’t.

I want to be happy and it seems like I just have something inside me that says f this, I’ll find it myself.

And then I get myself into these situations and live dangerously…. But neither one really deserves this.

Thing is, I don’t want to be this way. I fought off him for 30 long years.

And now I crashed into him…. And I don’t want to stop.

Situationships is all I will ever know.

I want love and I want it reciprocated and I think maybe since I really do feel very comfortable around HIM, this might be it.

But roommate can be so nice, unfortunately he’s got major issues.

And maybe HIM does, too.

He just hides it well.

I will figure him out.

I’m f’ed up.

I own it.

But now wtf am I gonna do? Sneak around?

Am I though? Roommate is already trying to meet other chicks behind my back.

It’s just not really reciprocated.

In other news, roommate got a ticket, and one for me, too.

It’s my fault for allowing him to drive my car without a license.

So, now we’re gonna work extra hard for him to get one.

So, I’ll help w that.

Still broke, still waiting on dhs.

And that’s frustrating, too.

Anyway. I’m a whore for doing this, again. I know what I am…. Idk what will come of it, but I’ll figure it out.

 

Going to bed.