Trying

To get past my morning ritual of contacting him and anxiety attacks.

Lilly is sitting in bed with me, watching disney on my tablet.

She had breakfast already and i am really tired from not sleeping well last night.

Too much on my mind and i know this is one of the hardest things i have ever done, but its absolutely necessary.

He is poison, right now.

I miss the man he was when he did try, or honestly,  anyone would wonder why i put up with any of it at all.

When hes on his game with me, hes polite, loving, so kind, bends over backwards to help, so loving…

Then its gone, completely and i am left with a bitter man with absolutely no care in the world for people who don’t validate his actions or behaviors.

He is exactly like jeckyll and hyde.

Anyway, moving past it, i have to submerge myself and keep busy with the kids, today.

Yesterday at country junction was a blast for my princess.

I colored my hair too, but i think its a bit darker than i wanted.

good thing i keep my hair shorter these days.

I made chicken cutlets last night when we got home,  so i really don’t have to cook much this weekend. Just grab and go.

It does look like rain.

There’s lots i can do, but i need to keep occupied.

I need to pack out orders, tonight.

Canadian dude is keeping me company but i seriously think i am being catfished so i am very careful with what i share.

He used a different number last night. One is in California,  the other is in brooklyn.

A quick search on fb when he told me his full name, comes up sus.

Dude w same name, lives in brooklyn and is a scammer.

So, this should be fun.

It keeps me from bothering anyone, and its nice to be thought of. If he is real,  something is off about him.

Good looking, yes. But yeah, something is off with him telling me he misses me, and wants to meet me and just everything screams scammer. Every answer i give, reminds me of what i would say to him if he were doing it to me.

I completely gave up on my AEs, anyway.

Pick my son up at 2:30.

Then, what?

I should get a few groceries. I might just order online, one last time

My feet are killing me.