I know i am level 18 crazy

But i created a new email,  wrote him this morning and he responded.  He also said good morning, sunshine to my alter account.

No, I’m not a twelve year old giddy child desperate for his attention,  but i am frustrated.

Now i know he needs to put in the effort. Even if its just for his 4 year old, he has to do it. I am a priority,  not an option. I am the one he thinks he can walk all over, and i still leave that door open for him to do it. However,  although i wanted this and wrote daily with no response,  all ghosting,  he still has his anger and emotions to deal with.

I’m content pretending to be someone else just to gain insight.

He never has to know.

Effort.  With me.

Zero effort, zero interest.  Keep my boundaries.  Put myself first.  Thats the hard stuff.

We shall see.