I can do this

I’m pretending to have the time of my life, while being watched.

Thats part of the game, as well. I just hate playing it.

I’m playing a game w a grown ass man with a mental condition.

I just wasn’t strong enough,  before.

Day one or two, I’m not sure.

8am, yesterday.  Nothing today, nor will i, tomorrow.

And if Saturday comes and goes, i will make it.

My son will be here, tomorrow. And i promised him that we would do something fun. He wants to go to flea markets,  but they are calling for rain, so i am not too sure what will happen, yet.

My back up is to go to an indoor flea market, but I haven’t looked for anything,  yet.

I need to move on. I need to display it. And thats sad, to me.

Jay says its the only way, and then tell him we can just be friends.

And it’ll sink in.

I’m 44. This game, i really don’t like to play. I have no patience for it.

However, ive been reading up on it and i will not justify his behaviors.

I will not contribute to his mania.

I will be normal because its toxic when both of us are sick.

I reread some texts he sent me. It started in mid December.

Not sure if it was before or after he gave me that promise ring.

 

But his mothers death is the trigger.