How can we

Yesterday was a disaster.

After being disappointed by the circle, came home and relaxed a bit.

I suggested that he come over, and he agreed, however he failed to tell me he was “working “.  Not sure whether i can believe it or not, but it is what it is. 930, he got home.

I mean i did even double check w him and he wanted to know what time. I said after 6. It takes an hour to drive to him. I texted i was on my way about 5.

He said he wasnt home. I got nothing until about 7 when i asked him again, he said he was still working. I showered, looked good and went to town,  anyway.

Not knowing what was going on, but wanting to be ready. Wish i didn’t put in the effort at all.

And had i known, i wouldn’t have.

Anyway, today is one year death of my father. Its a day. Been in tears all week anyway, last night after i put her to bed, i broke again.

I woke up, and cried some more.

This crying shit has to go!

turn my anger into stregnth, one way or another.

Plans to not text him today, unless he does first, play w Lilly, get instacart and make something to eat. Maybe make walking a new routine for us.

Shes got so much energy to burn off and its getting too nice to stay home.

Gonna try to get a nap in, too.