Everything

Everything is coming out externally, including my tears.

I need to get into my head that he’s not, nor ever was into me.

My heart though, knows I’ve never connected with another man on this level before and it was because

of the connection that i think it lasted as long as it did.

I really miss the old him.

he says the more i push, the more he backs off.

But Im the one sitting here with a broken heart.

Trying to get my shit together, once again.

Just got this internet thing kinda stable, we shall see how long it lasts for.

If so, i will have something to occupy my mind. Otherwise, Im sitting here in tears and if it wasnt for lilly, i wouldnt want to even get out of bed