Day two

I’m really trying to not snap out on him. He knows what he’s doing is wrong. He knows i won’t tolerate it.

I really can’t just knock him to the curb or me, my kids and him will all be homeless and my kid just started school, here.

So i must keep my mouth shut and just watch myself.  It may be my home but if it wasn’t for him, i would be back w my mom. And i haven’t lived w her in almost 30 years.

I love her so very much, but i can’t stay with her.

I could if it was a life or death emergency but this isn’t. He’s not abusive, and for that i am grateful.

He does have redeeming qualities but that online bs just puts ne in check to know i will never marry him or fall in love. We’re more like friends, at this point.

He’s not affectionate most of the times and he isn’t very sexual.

Which is weird to me because every man i ever been w has been and I’ve been w a lot.

I think the trauma of my last relationship also plays a role in my non commital attitude.

Today, my girl went back to school after staying up all night coughing.

In my day, i would have been sent to school if i didn’t have a fever.

I can remember a time that i was so sick, walked anyway and then the nurse called my mom, i had strep throat. I remind my mom of this. I think i was like 15 or 16 at the time.

Circa 1990s

I never wanted to go, and always had an excuse.

It was all the bullying i had from 3rd grade on. Kids are just evil. I hope better for both of my kids.

 

So, its a laundry and clean up day.

I might take a nap soon.

Today, is meet the teacher night for my sons school.  Thats at 7.

Not sure I’m going, yet.

I’d like to but i also haven’t been feeling well so i may be too exhausted, by then.

Who knows. Friday is a half day for him so i will get him first from school.

Tomorrow after i drop my girl off, i will pick the mr up and take him to his friends house. He’s gone all weekend for a race in ohio. Til sunday or monday.

So, at least it will be a bit quiet. Lot of luck to them.

And my girl can climb into bed those days.

I know she sleeps better. Id like to do something but i don’t have any cash.

We will see what happens.