Breathe

I’m also trying so hard to remember to breathe. They call it codependency,  but I’m not. Its being shocked completely by promises from a man, made to me. I followed blindly.

It makes me want to cry with what i put myself through.  I actually  make myself sick. I know I’m not ready to date or even think about it, yet. That would be so unhealthy for me to do.

I must remember,  he gives me crumbs. I deserve the entire entree.

8am Wednesday.

Its Friday.

Been circling in my head about where to go and what to do with these kids.

I need to go out, somewhere.

Anywhere.

Oh, and then of course, we have covid to worry about, right?

All last year, i traveled to the beach with him and my kids.

So, Find a hotel with an indoor pool. Maybe hershey or philly?

Both would scare me to drive to.

But i have to do something or i will drive myself insane just sitting here, waiting.

And i don’t want to wait much longer.

If this backfires…

Ugh.

I’ll deal w it.

Ball. His court. No chasing.

Soooo hard.