Missed

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"Missed"

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It overwhelmed

It consumed.

I awoke to tears

they fell

Trying to compose myself

I lacked the control

I lacked the ability

It would not stop

I could not stop

I sobbed.

My eyes burned

the tears seemed to ignite the flame

salted water scolded my face

Streams lingered on my cheeks

providing a path for passing traffic.

I did not speak

My movement- the heaving of my chest

I sat in my chair

Curled

making myself as small as I could.

Gasping for breathe

In between each rapid heart beat.

Flashbacks of what used to be

I could not stop

my memories flooded reality.

Foreign was this feeling

this feeling that filled each cell

Remarkable pain, so real

You would have testified that it was not a first

It was doing too well destroying to be new

But it was

I have never gone all day in tears

From wake til sleep

I cried the day away

I cried into dehydration.

The loneliness

I miss him

(or rather the idea of him)…—