Me?

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Me?
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There is something about me
You
are drawn in
You
blame sexual energy
flowing from my being
my aura.
 
There is something about me
You
can not really explain
You
profess your wants
as if they should be mine
I should want you.
 
There is something about me
You
claim to lust for it
You
think about it when with other females
telling me like I should be flattered
I am not.
 
There is something about me
You
will be waiting
You
are giving me time
moments given to change my mind
to yours.
 
There is something about me
You
see a difference not in others
You
want to, hold me in a memorable embrace,
proclaim a world like no other
your apparent gift for me.
 
There is something about me
You
do not listen
You
press on your way
ignoring my words, my feelings
I do not want you.
 
There is something about me
I have heard it time and again
the more it is said- the vagueness just increases.
Witnesses have pulled on straws
accusations of spell casting
purporting me a witch of some sort
abstactedly explainning the ostensible inexplicable.
 
There is something about me
there is something about anyone
about everyone.
 
Blessed or cursed
I can only take it as it comes
Overwhelmed however, profoundly lonesome.
How is it so easy for other to find someone to get lost in
 
That chemistry
that spark
 
maybe I am particular?
more than most?
hard to please?
 
I can not control my heart’s attraction
 
and pardon me
promises of the world just make my eyes roll
 
There is something about me?
yah thanks!…—
 
By: Sun © 2005
 
Sun note- ahhh I have been absent for a time that could seemingly appear to be long…things have been a tad hectic…tis all….school has a consuming factor…and just random life-bits…you know….I went and had my grad pics…done….I must say it was one of the most joyous photoshoots for me ever…the guy was grand…and my roommate and I were just loopy that day….I brought the proofs home with me (yes I came home for the week, a reading week of ours)….my mum claimed that my face looked so thin….I do not think so…but ever since I started loosing weight….my father claims that I never eat (which is so far from true)…and now I apparently do not look like myself…um…I do not know…rationalizing a parents thoughts is sometimes not meant to occur….I have had some very interesting conversations as of late….one happened this afternoon…where this piece stems from….for about 2 hours…today on MSN…I was speaking to a guy…I would not say a friend…but I have known him for over a year now…and well…in his mind we are suppose to be together…I on the other hand…do not think about him on that level….this is where things honestly became interesting to a degree….interesting for me since I am perplexed by some of the things that guys actually say to girls…or maybe it is just me?…I have no idea….it is not like he is the first to say such things…but honestly the amount of times I have heard certain things…has gone way passed the probablity I gave it to happen….my question is…how does someone logically think that telling a girl that…when and or if they are going to (or did) screw around with another girl….that they were thinking about you…is right…is this suppose to be a some form of twisted compliment that I can not grasp?…when I ask how am I suppose to take that….there is bascially silence…like that was not the response…they were hoping for….um????..moreover…what is with people when I say I dont want to be with them they do not believe me?….if I am not attracted to someone in that way I can not force it…what do they want from me?…and I have also concluded that…I end up speaking about marriage more than anyone else I know…that is ridiculous!!…most of my friends…and I mean a huge chunk of them are with people they have been with for over 4 years now min….and…my first love and I….are not even together anymore and we still talk about marriage and kids more then then my friends that are engaged…my roommate decided to bring this up to me once again…when we were at school…and know what it is true! …I have no idea why….same with this other guy….this guy and I talk about marriage some how…like…alot…what the heck?….what is even more strange is the fact that I am not even the one that brings it up!….it is them….with my first love…I think the closest it came from me starting it at one point was telling him…that…in my head…I was going to be with him forever…I was only going to fall in love once….I have no idea…once again I have not been writing in my diaries…hence the long note here….but I am going to go now….