I Still cry

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"I Still Cry"

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I hope you know

I did not have to love you

I chose to give you my heart

As foolish as it now may seem

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I can still feel you inside me

I can still see your face

I can still feel your touch

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I packed up all the gifts

I returned the clothes

I don’t want to see you

 

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It hurts

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I hate you for breaking my heart

I hate you for caring and then leaving

I hate that I hate you

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You placed me in the middle of your indecisions

and I gave you everything I had

everything

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When the phone rings I still hold my breath for a split second

When I drive and see a dark grey mazda I can not help but look

When I turn onto my street I have an empty hope that you will be there

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You will be there… to tell me you changed your mind

That you are sorry for everything that has happened

And I would be sorry to

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What a joke

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I try to crush those feelings

I try to crush that hope

I try every gawd damn day!

 

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It is not getting any easier

You gave me all these signs that you cared

Then you turned

And I am the crazy one

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I did not have to love you

I did not have to care

I did not!!

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Please do not do this to someone else

Please do not trap someone in your wishes

Please do not play at someone expense

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I hope you know

I would forget you….but I can not

was this your plan?

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You have made it impossible to do

You took things that I can never forget

I gave you things I can never get back

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so

I am trying to forgive you

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I feel like I was a game to you

I feel like whatever you felt was out of convenience

I feel like you used me until you found better

and then wanted me to just fade away

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so 

I am trying to forgive myself…—

By: Sun ©2007

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Sun note- either I am way more sensitive than other people or I am just overreacting….

neither answer sooths my sore blood shot eyes and heavy head

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