Enjoying My Prominence

I am a prominent member of the Republican Party.

I am a key community leader.

I know this to be true because I received a personal letter from Mitt Romney telling me so.  At least, I think it was a personal letter.  It had my full name–the name my mother used when I knew I was officially in trouble–and it is signed with what could only be a big, fat, blue Sharpie.  The signature block says "Mitt Romney" but the signature looks more like "M:Ti", but I’m sure that’s a special code just for prominent members of the Republican Party.

Let me quote from the most flattering sections of my personal letter from my good friend (I can call him my good friend, can’t I?) Mitt.

"You [that’s me] are one of our Party’s most prominent members, and I would be honored if you would join my team as a major contributor."  See, I’m prominent BEFORE I am asked to be a major contributor.  And by "our Party" I can only assume he’s talking about an actual PARTY because he and I aren’t actually in the same political party.  Just a small detail.

He then goes on to mention my extensive knowledge.

"Unlike President Obama, you and I know [see, knowledge] we cannot tax, spend, and borrow our way out of this mess."  I am heartened to see him acknowledge the "mess" but I am a bit concerned that he only includes the current President and not multiple past Presidents.  Using my vast, Mitt recognized, knowledge, I know that the previous President of OUR party squandered a budget surplus, the only budget that has even approached balance since….what, the 1960’s?

Mitt then goes a bit whiney and a lot self serving.

"In order to successfully challenge an incumbent president with an expected billion-dollar campaign war chest, I need the financial leadership of key community leaders like you [that would be me, again]."  I have absolutely NO idea how community leaders and financial leadership showhow become joined. I’m guessing that my good friend, and possible team leader, Mitt doesn’t know a whole lot about community leadership. Hoi polloi have community leaders but are, by definition, part of the 47% that is definitely part of the 99%.

I am very torn about how I should respond to this personal plea from my pesonal friend and financial leader.  Should I send the $2500, $1500, $1000, $500, or $250 that he tells me would be a "tremendous help"?  Or should I send $0.47 to indicate my membership in the 47%?  Yes, THAT 47%.

I strongly suspect that I will not be responding the my good friend’s plea at all but that I will be sharing my delight at being considered a prominent party member and key community leader.  When that joy wears off I expect that I will be tossing Mitt’s missive into the recycling bin so it can become a useful part of our environment.  Oh, but don’t tell Mitt, because I don’t think Green is on his mind, it certainly isn’t mentioned anywhere in his personal letter to me.

Ender is out.