A Stolen-stole Survey

When I saw this survey on [City of Angels] OD and I noticed the question about soap, I just had to resteal it.

Do you have a favorite pen? Yes, I would tell you all about it, but that for the next question.
 
^If so, why is it your favorite?  My Mont Blanc Meisterstuck Diamond. It was a Christmas present from Mrs. Ender and it replaced my previous favorite, my Mont Blanc Meisterstuck (no diamond) that Mrs. Ender bought for me in Paris. I am very loyal about my pens. I don’t have multiple pens lying around, and I don’t lend my pen to anyone. I went through high school and the start of college with one pen—a Parker Big Red—and when the clip on that one got bent beyond repair I finished up college and the beginning of my working life with a second Big Red.  When the clip on my first Mont Blanc got bent I sent the pen in to Mont Blanc to be repaired. I’m a serious pen guy.
 
Tell me one fact you know about horses (without using Google).   A horse will work itself to death, but a mule will not.
 
When was the last time you had to walk up or down stairs? This morning.
 
Tell me one unique quality about your own handwriting.  It’s cursive and legible.
 
What daily chore do you secretly enjoy?  It isn’t a daily chore, but I enjoy cutting the grass.
 
Has a child ever asked you a question you found difficult to answer?  Yes, and it normally starts with “why.”
 
Name five books you’ve read in the past year.  Wow, that’s a hard question, not because I’ve not read five books but because I’ve probably read five books in the last six weeks.
 
^Are any of those books your favorite?  I reread “Ender’s Game” by Orson Scott Card, that’s one of my favorites. I will be rereading “Gone South” and “Boy’s Life” by Robert McCammon next week and “In Cold Blood” by Truman Capote, and each of those is high on my list of favorites.
 
Are you a person that enjoys re-reading books? Um, yes?
 
Which hobby is the lamest: stamp collecting or spoon collecting? Spoon Collecting. It has to be right up there with shovel collecting.
 
What do you daydream about most often?  As a guy, the true answer has to be sex. How often do guys think about sex? Every 7 seconds? Otherwise, I daydream about what I’d do if I won the lottery, not how I’d spend the money but how’d I share the money.
 
Why is your favorite band?  I have no favorite, at least not this morning. Come back and ask me this afternoon, I might have a current favorite then.
 
Do you have a favorite talk show host?  Click and Clack, the Tappit Brothers (Tom and Ray Magliozzi) from NPR’s “Car Talk” or Ira Glass from NPR’s “This American Life.”
 
What do you wish you could afford at the moment?  To retire comfortably.
 
What is the most unusual color you’ve ever painted your nails? I’m not sure that I’ve ever had my nails painted.
 
Which sounds the most refreshing: a hot shower or a cold one?  These days? A cool shower. It’s been too hot for a hot shower.
 
Have you ever made your own soap?  YES!!! I make my own soap all the time. I have a recipe all ready to make a 5-pound batch of goat milk soap this weekend. I just have to decide if I want to use Eucalyptus and Spearmint, or go with Sandalwood and Patchouli.
 
Here’s the recipe, in case you want to make your own batch:
 
Olive Oil = 26.5 Ounces (50% of total oils)
Palm Kernel Oil = 5.3 Ounces (10% of total oils)
Rice Bran Oil = 5.3 Ounces (10% of total oils)
Coconut Oil (76 degrees) = 5.3 Ounces (10% of total oils)
Shea Butter, Ghana = 5.3 Ounces (10% of total oils)
Palm Oil (RBD) = 2.65 Ounces (5% of total oils)
Castor Oil = 2.65 Ounces (5% of total oils)
Eucalyptus Essential Oil = 28 Grams (.988 Ounces)
Spearmint Essential Oil = 52 Grams (1.834 Ounces)
Goat’s Milk = 20 ounces
lye = 7.185 ounces (203 grams)
 
What’s your favorite popsicle flavor?  When I was a kid I always hoped that the Good Humor man would have blue popsicles; he rarely did. Raspberry, but we always called them blue popsicles.
 
Can you sleep with socks on?  In the winter, yes. In the summer? I sleep in the buff, from head to toes.
 
When was the last time you were pissed beyond belief andwhy?  I can always fully justify my prissiness, so I’m never pissed “beyond belief.”
 
Name a band with the word ‘red’ in their title.  I don’t know.
 
Do you have a favorite candle brand?  Nope.
 
How many years until you turn 38?  That would be a negative number, negative fifteen.
 
What is your opinion on taxidermy?  I’m not a big fan and some of it is quite creepy.
 
Would you ever want to own a body part in a jar? I’m always on the lookout for an EBay auction for John Dillinger’s wang or Marilyn Monroe’s clitoris. Other than those, no.
 
What is the worst thing you have ever done to your own hair?  Let it grow. Is that bad?
 
What do you think makes you a good girlfriend or boyfriend? My collection of body parts in jars and my pen loyalty.
 
What qualities of yours do you think could potentially harm a relationship?  My collection of body parts in jars and my pen loyalty.
 
How often do you indulge in a favorite food from your childhood?  Whenever possible, of course. Moonpies and blue popsicles, mmmmh.
 
Have any of your childhood habits carried over into adolescence/adulthood?  Hmmm, maybe not sleeping with body parts hanging over the side of the bed? That prevents the thing living under the bed from grabbing me. But that’s less a habit and more a smart survival skill.
 
What is the nicest thing you’ve done for someone else in the past 24 hours?  Brought home roses from Mrs. Ender. No occasion, just because.
 
What sort of conditions do you require in order for you to fall asleep? Just that I be tired, the where and the how are not important.
 
What is the first band that comes to mind when I say ‘dark’?  None.
 
Do you have a favorite punk band?  I don’t even KNOW a punk band.
 
As far as relationships go, what are your biggest deal-breakers? Gender, definitely gender. I’m not a homophobe, I just prefer vagina.
 
Be honest: do looks really matter to you? No. I like looking, but looks don’t matter.
 
Congratulations! Someone sent you flowers! What kind do you hope they are? I wouldn’t turn down a nice potted orchid.
 
What type of underwear do you personally prefer to wear? Boxer briefs, tagless.
 
What is the grossest chore you’ve ever been assigned?  When I was a kid we had a big dog and it was my brother’s and my chore to clean up the dog shit—we called it dog dirt, but it was just a nice way of saying dog shit—from the back yard about once a week. Did I mention that it was a big dog? Big dog, lots of shit, very gross.
 
Have you ever done something simply because you were of age?  I’ve claimed “age before beauty” and meant age.
 
Do you think it’s worth it to tell someone you had feelings for them when you don’t have them anymore? No, that’s water over the dam and closing the doors after the horses are all gone.
 
What color shirts do you tend to buy most often?  Blues and greens to make my eyes “pop.” That’s what Mrs. Ender says blue and green do to my baby blues.
 
Have you ever done something you once thought you’d be too chicken to do?  No, unless you count smuggling live reptiles in my pants. Wait, are we talking about dreams?
 
Where would you rather go: Portland, Oregon or Portland, Maine? The Oregon Portland. I’ve crossed Maine off my “see all fifty states” list, but I still have Oregon on the list.
 
Name a band that begins with the letter Y. Why?
 
Tell me about someone who has made a huge impact in your life. Two gentlemen, Frank M. (using only the first letter isn’t for anonymity, I am not sure how to spell it or even exactly how it’s pronounced) and Big Dave Walker. Both gentlemen came from extremely modest backgrounds and worked in the bag room at the country club. They treated me like an equal (a young, naïve equal) and showed me the ignorance in prejudice.
 
What can I usually find you doing at 4pm on a weekday?  Wrapping up my work day.
 
What’s a food you love but don’t get to eat very often?  I know there must be some foods in this category (guilty pleasures), but I can’t think of any.
 
Do you dot your lowercase i’s? Lowercase I’s have dots, ‘nough said.
 
What’s the first song on your iPod/mp3 player that comes up under P? The first “P” in my music folder is Pachelbel, followed by Peter, Paul and Mary.
 
Do the words ‘Amon’ and ‘Amarth’ mean anything to you? <i>I think the first one has Egyptian roots (i.e. Amon-ho-tept), but I’m drawing a blank on the second. Should I know this one, is it the launch code for total thermonuclear distruction?

Ender is out.