Stimulation by Stoli

One afternoon the Arizona sky gave birth to colours that do not yet have names, and later that night we drove up Mars Hill. It was so quiet up there. Even with the whispers of my friends talking. So quiet that i could hear in my memory the Urban Symphony of New York that used to lull me to sleep. i listened to it, and i thought i saw the city before me. With its lights dancing above me showing me all the mavels of human creation, with its windows holding people and art that hoovered over my head reminding me of myself, the Empire State Building and the Ghosts of the World Trade Centre. i thought i saw all of that, and it all blurred with tears in my eyes— and it was beautiful. But, it wasn’t that i was seeing. i was looking up, and i was seeing the stars.

And we all sat around tables and couches and we drank and we talked, and i saw around me a beauty i could not fathom. Intelligence i could not match. People i feel privileged that i know. We talked about books and love and philosophy and politics. We forged bonds i refuse to forget. i reveled in the glory of those people i love.

i felt regret and pain about New York. i felt lonely and lost without it.

But i felt alive again with those voices in my blood. Those new thoughts and new people. And i miss my friends so much. i miss the conversation. i can’t wait to see Deanna again. And Justin. and noah and katie and jesse and sarah. and DEANNA.

and i remembered what an old wise grey man once said, and although i miss New York like nothing i can say… i think i can pull myself out of it and make new paths for myself. Education. Friends. Love. Stoli. Books. New paths forged through overgrowth and sorrow, cut down with the help of my friends… and instead of only thinking about what was, i will let things happen. i don’t have to decide to live in the past….

“All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you.”