And in came a Man

It’s weird not writing anymore. And sad. It is weird not being near a computer so much. i miss everyone. i dream about you all and wonder every day. i do not forget.

What is also weird is finding someone. Ari. His name is Ari ane he is good to me. He spends the night and gives me my medication. He hugs me and kisses me and tells me i am pretty. He wants to read my writing, and he lets me peer into him as well. His name is Ari. He makes me happy. It scares me to feel this content.

Oh, and i do not have tonsils anymore. And i have a new job.

And i miss you all so much.

There is something latent and hiding. Hibernating, if you will. i am waiting and counting the minutes until Ari hurts me. i am so ready to bolt.

But i am trying not to. My lonliness is calling to me from the storage unit i put it in. It is unused and wants out. i miss it too.

But, for now, i am going to enjoy this contentment. i am going to heal from my surgery. i am going to try hard and love my new job.

i am going to try to write more— but mostly to read. i want to drink in the essense of you all. i need it to survive.

i am going to live without thinking about when i die.

For now.