My history of failed dating and how that led to journaling online.
I started to use the internet in my early 20s I would guess. At the time I was just breaking up with a boyfriend who was a real dead beat. He kept calling me and begging me for my e-mail address. It took quite a while to get rid of him. I am glad that I did because he started screaming, howling, bawling…It was really scary, he almost didn’t sound human. I could hear him throwing things and at one point it sounded like something broke cause I could hear glass shattering. People always say that you should break up with someone in person because it is good manners. I say that is bull crap. (I’m not sure of the rules on swear words on this site.) You never know how they are going to react to it and judging from the way he reacted I made a very wise decision. I broke up with him by writing a postal letter and then he called me having a tantrum. I really wasn’t fully prepared for his reaction. I know someone may think that I was a coward for doing that but at least I am alive. Anyway, for a long time after that I needed my privacy and the internet was the perfect outlet for that. Back in those days, there wasn’t really a way to get pictures and all that online so I felt like I had privacy and safety. He didn’t ever find me until 2009 when I joined Facebook. I said hello just to be polite and quickly deleted and blocked him.
To make one thing clear, the relationship wasn’t abusive, in fact he had never really been like that until I broke up with him. He still seemed to think that we were in love and just not seeing each other for whatever reason. He would call me practically trying to force me to go out with him. Back in those days it wasn’t as easy to block someone from calling you.
I started out journaling on My Dear Diary using various user names. Then online journaling seemed to take a backseat to Facebook. I always found it weird when someone who would bully me in school would add me as a friend on Facebook. Then in 2009 my ex found me. Honestly I didn’t think that he would even be able to use Facebook, as he is not the brightest guy on earth. I tried to remain just friends but he made it pretty clear that he was looking to go out with me again and I didn’t want to lead anyone on so I cut it off very quickly.
Around 2000-2007 I frequented a chat room called Life – Depressed on AOL. I met many great friends in that room but we have all lost touch and went our own ways. Aol closed the chat rooms around the time Facebook started to become more popular.
Around 2008 I started to play World of Warcraft. It was fun for a while but very quickly became more of a job than a game. I met some guys on that game that were around my age and we had a great time but changes in technology came around and other games came out. Some of them went on to some Star Wars game and I decided not to. We eventually lost touch with each other.
From then on I talked on Facebook and played games there and on Pogo. I still play Pogo to this day. For Christmas of 2016 I got my first iPad. I have been hooked ever since. The iPad is the greatest invention since Swiss cheese.
I’m always looking for game or chat site recommendations so if anyone knows of anything good out there let me know.
Have a great day everyone.
I think the break-up etiquette is to do it in person… BUT… Do it in a public place to avoid the tantrum. Rejection is a huge trigger for a lot of scary things. I have been an object of another’s obsession and he was the best guy friend EVER! EXCEPT… he always wanted to be more than friends and that pushed me away. We are distant friends now. I guess in a way he was my diary because I was able to tell him all of my fears and felt anonymous because he lived in a different part of the state. He is the one who taught me that people orbit in and out of your lives and that’s ok.
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I love journaling here. I mostly used Facebook after OD shut down, but I think I’ll be back here more now that it’s back. I’m getting tired of Facebook.
@queenofegypt you and I both! I feel facebook is too close for comfort. My uncle scolded me: “Don’t reveal THAT much about yourself, have some mystery.” I felt offended by his authoritative comment. I don’t want to be censored. Then months later he had a picture of his daughter (my cousin) in her bikini posing like she is pole dancing on their front porch or something and I wanted to comment spitefull: “Don’t reveal THAT much about yourself, have some mystery.”
I don’t know why he found revealing my soul in words as worse than him posting his own barely legal daughter’s skin revealing photo in an almost compromising position as more appropriate?!
@13spirit Eek, that IS bizarre. But that’s the kind of world we live in, I guess. Are you posting yourself naked? Cool. Post your innermost thoughts? You’re too much. 🤷🏻♀️
@queenofegypt I thought my writing was PG. 🤔 I’ve come to terms knowing his response has more to do with him than it has anything to do with me being me.
@13spirit Right. I got similar comments from family when I posted to Facebook. But then they would turn around and write really judgmental posts about total strangers. Sorry my struggle with depression made them uncomfortable, but at least I’m not a judgmental bitch to the world. I silently judge, thank you. 😁
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oMG! This is like reading something out of my own entries. I did a lot of socializing online because of an ex who get so jealous when I’d hang out with friends. He was so needy and stole my life away for a long time. I finally left him, but the first few times I tried to leave him he’d act like what you described. I ended the relationship at a marriage therapist’s office, except I knew I didn’t want to fix it, I just wanted to end it. I used OD as an outlet on how unhappy i was with him.
I played WoW for 3 years and then stopped for the same reason you gave.
Anyways… I’m glad you’re out of that relationship.
@kittykhaos Seems like we have some things in common. Very nice to meet you! 😊
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