The Reasons We Feel

I went on #channel2 news yesterday!

I got to share my sister’s story about how she passed away in 2018 from a drug overdose, and it was somewhat hard.I’ve told the story multiple times so eventually it become more of a robotic nature. I don’t know it was really cool to see it and gave me a lot of inspiration to keep doing what I want to do. I know that is My calling. They asked me if I would be a representation of the KeD program.  And they could work with me.The opportunity for a new era of myself including the documentary and everything else I’m doing. The hardest problem. Is it brings me further from everything else and that’s the only thing that scares me? I don’t want to be stuck someone else while my family is away for me. There are too many things going on at home for me to feel safe doing anything like. But it’s gonna be hard if I have to work more in 2 days a week. Currently I’m working as a nurse 2 days a week and it’s already hard enough to do that.

Now that I’m working Tyler and I are having issues. I wish things were easier for us to communicate. I wish i could be more loving when I feel like the world is ending. I sometimes feel like I’m trapped in a cage. I am home all the time, I clean, I take care of the kids and I just feel like everything is falling apart here underneath. I can’t trust someones word if they’ve lied so many times. I’m sick of hearing it. Everytime i try to boost his ego, he tesrs mine down. Lose lose, but maybe itll get a little better.

I miss actually being in love, but now I see why couples sleep apart. Makes me want to cry thinking about it. He is sick

and needs to go to the doctor. I’m not suee why he won’t go if his issuee qre becoming that bad.

The kids are happy and they are doing well.