new

Yes, I am feeling optimistic. I think what is going to come for me is coming, but I must enjoy the ride. I am getting over the sense of attachment and alone feelings I was experiencing originally when my ex was cut out of my life like a bad kidney, a bad cancer infested kidney. And now, I feel more and more like air, but the only thing holding me back is my job and my health. I am concerned with carrying out my dreams and goals while tied down to these things. I am getting more settled in with my roomate who originally seemed like a disaster from the moments I saw her. I am realizing she has a lot going on, internally, a lot. And I am thankfully that even though I am a somewhat sick individual, I find many things to be grateful for despite the grief. I recently had a run in with Karma that made me laugh because all of fall back men basically cut me off and it’s never like that, it’s always me. I guess I must be of a force to reckon with now. My ex also wrote that I am a trigger for him, still hard to believe, but this year I am going to respect his boundries. I treat him like a voicemail machine I can vent to that never responds. I’m never drunk either so I have no good excuse for it, and we all know who I want if I’m gonna take on anyone. It may never happen, but if not the right one will take over, it’s so rush. My body is in good shape, I am beautiful, and I know in time maybe another child is an option, but only with a good, good man. Very rarely do I miss my recent ex now, and boy is he texting my old number quite a lot holding on for dear life, I’m sure even those rehab girls see through all the sickness he accumulated over the years from adding new drugs and abusive techniques to his agenda. It’s such a waste to see such a perfectly capable man shackled by rope loosely tied around his wrists because he is more comfortable wearing them. I am at work not doing my job, so I am going to go tend to so. I love you all, happy new year, be you, be free and most of all only change the things you want to change for you. <3