Love Doesn’t Run Away to California alone

As i recently wrote about, my sister passed away on the 21st of November, this time was extremely numbing. I felt a lot of new emotions, combined. I felt I had to go to work and just, deal. I drove the car she died in to work and almost had a heart attack, I just cried and felt so many things go through me. SO shit gets crazier, my daughters father is all methed out in a town a few miles from me, and as I’m trying to get him to go home and stop calling me, I find out MY boyfriend went to California without telling me, just boarded a plane. Well I won’t talk to him, but I found out he was found in someones back yard unable to talk well and is now in the psych ward. So anyways, my sister dies and my boyfriend is going off? My boyfriend tells me he isnt across the us and is suicidal? I just can’t believe he took off on me at the worst possible time. I don’t know.