DEATH AND LOVE ARE EVERYTHING.

So as I stated recently my best friend and also my younger sister passed away last month within two days of eachother . Sometimes it seems like a big joke on me, and I know I’m not that important, but I’m losing everything I love. NOW the positive part and all this bullshit brought the true colors of my “boyfriend” out, he stayed with me for two days. The week after losing my sister I got a call from his sister that he had gotten on a plane and flown across the US and had absolutely no clue why, when she told me I was on my second day of working alone as a nurse and I called him in a panic hoping it wasn’t real. My heart dropped into my stomach for about the fiftieth time in five days. She said her dad put him on a plane and off he went with no reasoning. I call him and he tells me it’s not real, blah blah blah.  He then proceeds to say he is in buffalo and does not understand where I got that poor information from. Well he yells at his parents for letting me find out because he now knows I’m going to leave him. SO I decide to block him on everything and continue talking to his sister. Well she calls me two days later and says that he was found wondering around peoples back yards high on an upper, possibly meth and saying he was going to kill himself. He tells the cops he lost his rental vehicle and ends up in a psych ward. He apparently got homea few days later, but I’m not even sure he’s home. He called me at 3 am last night to tell me it was my fault that he left and went to California without even telling me why and then said I was seeing someone else. I’m not seeing anyone. I’m thinking a rebound hook up could, help, but probably won’t. I know a guy that I do get pretty nervous around and could see myself being involved with, but I know I’m emotionally compromised and my current decisions don’t make sense. I don’t want to hurt anyone else either so I have to be careful. I’m also pretty broke because of Christmas and the funeral expensives. I miss my friend ryan that died. He was always so good to me, this is when I need him the most. Same with my sister, she’d be who I’d tell all this bullshit to. Times like these show you if your man of two years is gonna stick around.