Suspension

Something is dead inside of me. Asleep. Dormant. Inactive. Like a virus maybe, that isn’t actually in a host.

I have somehow lost my appetite. I am too scared to eat food with bulk now, so am eating only crackers, cornchips, diet soda, and chocolate (and NOT a lot of it, so that I am still maintaining my weight, or losing weight…basically it seems to be slightly dropping or maintaining).

. I manage to eat some shirataki noodles sometimes, because I know they have almost zero cals. It is rare I get into periods of not having an appetite. I like it, but does make me feel more dead.

I started my second painting. It’s of a little girl. A person. I don’t like it so far. Sofie keeps telling me I"m brilliant, and an artist, but I am having my doubts.

I am on supension. From life. I feel soon I might get expelled.