12/6/05
Does it help if I say I need help?
That I can’t do this alone?
As I sit here with tears streaming down my face, trying desperately to hold on…to perspective, to clarity, to structure, …does it help when I am saying repeatedly to anyone who will listen, that I need help?
I am trying every day so hard. Yet it is constantly pointed out to me where I am failing. No one seems to understand that I need help with structure; with priortising. If I am failing everybody so f:cking much then please, can I have a few people reach out and give me the assistance I am so desperately pleading for?
The receptionist at the new psychiatrist’s office I was referred promised to call back this afternoon to say if he has agreed to take me a new patient. She hasn’t called. I call, and she is off for the afternooon. A different secretary says she will get the 1st secretary to call me tomorrow. Meanwhile I’m left wondering if my life is left hanging.
I swear I am trying. Why is it not enough?
The dogs haven’t slept with us for past 2 nights, because we shut them out to get some peace. As I sit here cuddling them, I am crying for how much I missed them the last 2 nights.
You know something’s wrong when you miss your dogs more than your husband. F*ck me.
***HUGS*** I wish I knew how to help you so you didn’t feel so alone. Thats secretary is really not very good. I hope the call comes early tomorrow. Try not to let it get to you. One more day. You can make one more day. I hope I get a chance to chat to you tonight.
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Dogs don’t ask difficult questions. Dogs don’t expect anything. They just love you, pure and simple. I can understand why that would be so important to you when nothing else seems to be going your way. Hang in there!
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i’m so sorry your hurting like this. i can at least lend you a cyber shoulder to cry on. and i can commiserate with my own burdens. i know when i feel like you do, meditation and yoga help me a great deal. sometimes being alone or with companions that don’t expect anything more than just you, is more comforting than even people you love. keep your chin up darlin. i love you. xoxo
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I’m sorry you are feeling so unhappy 🙁
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*hugs*
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I sure hope you start to feel a little happy soon{{{{{HUGS}}}
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I’m sorry. My dogs r my best friends. They will always luv u. ((hugs))
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All we can do is listen and support you by being here. I hope it’s enough.
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