Ex-Files Part 2

Well. Since Saturday , my ex got my number from his nephew (a fellow writer and friend of mine) and called. The only reason I agreed to let him have my number is because I thought he must need to tell me something important to go through that effort to get my phone number after us not speaking since 2014 or so. Anyway, much to my surprise (although why I should be surprised I don’t know), he didn’t want to call me to tell me anything important like some important news about my family I may not have heard and somehow he had. I mean something important like a death in the family or something. Anyway, nope. He just wanted to chat casually. So, on Sat he called and talked and talked and talked. I put him on speakerphone and my husband spent some time talking to him. As far as I/we were concerned, that was it. Just some random out-of-the-ordinary catchup call because he had been going through a lot. But then he texted me on Sunday night. I only texted back briefly and had no real interest in continuing talking to him, especially since he was sending me hearts and saying “love you all” but only sending ME the hearts when he also has my husband’s phone number and was texting him too. I ignored the hearts and said little and was trying to figure out how to tell him that I did not want to have any kind of a casual friendship with him. So, I basically ignored his Sunday night texts (especially since my husband had told him on Sat night when he said he would call again the next night, that it was NOT a good time to call because on Sunday, my husband spends hours on the phone with his family ), but my ex still texted me on Sunday evening. After a brief and generic hi how are you doing, I ignored his incoming texts hoping he would get the message. But no, more hearts ended his texts that night, even though he wasn’t getting a response from me.

So…lastnight (Mon), he texted me again! And I’m talking around 10pm and again at 11:55 p.m.! Well, at 10pm he texted and said “hi, how was your day?” …I said, “Fine. Listen, I don’t want to carry on texting with you because I’m a married woman and I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to be texting another man all the time.” So…he didn’t answer but then he texted my husband LOL. So  then, at 11:55 p.m. after texting my husband for an hour, he texts me AGAIN and wrote a really long text saying he will respect my wishes, and ended it again with “love you all” and a heart. UGH.

So, I am expecting NOT to get anymore texts from him. I know he is probably lonely and just wants someone to talk to, but even just hearing his name brings up a lot of bad emotions for me. He was (and probably still is) a narcissist, manipulative, controlling, and overbearing. I do hope he can find someone that will be there for him and keep him company, etc. But that person cannot be ME. Breaking free from a narcissist is really difficult to do. I may be an empathetic person, but over the past two years, I’ve gotten really good at setting boundaries. I do wish him well, but I also wish me well. Me being well has always meant having nothing to do with him.