And If Your Wings Break, Run. And If You Break a Leg, Crawl.

You know you should take a day off when you’re easily irritated and start calling clients idiot in your head.

I know, I know. Not nice thoughts. But boo-hoo I am human. (sigh)

I’m okay. My birthday is coming sooner than I can hope and I really am just desperate for a long break. I’m not that excited about the bonus either because our head already told us it’s gonna be way less than the past year’s.

But you know what? I choose gratefulness. Yeah. You heard me. Being thankful rocks. I heard it can turn things into miracles. A meal into a feast. (**credits to whoever said or wrote that first**I can’t recall who did)

So I’m grateful that mom likes cooking meals at my request and feeding us good food. I’m grateful that God allows me to take breaks when I’m drained or overwhelmed. I’m grateful for beauty and paintings and art and stories and music and pizza and milk tea and coffee and latte and loyal dogs and fun college friends and acquaintances and more.

Funny because when I feel sad, I try to divert my attention to something else. Living vicariously is what they call it. I can’t risk much, can’t go on great adventures. I don’t even have someone to go out with that will have as much fun as I do… Mom and Gooch, they’re introverts. I know if I ask, mom will go but it’s different because I know she doesn’t really enjoy going out. And Gooch is…it’s like landing on a gold mine when he even answers when you talk to him. He doesn’t really leave room for expectations.

So even on my birthday, I think I’ll just stay at home.

See, I think some are meant to be light as feather coz they can. Some people can just choose the simpler way of life. Settle.

But I am not one of them.

Some people lets grief or insecurities or other things turn them into someone. But I see obstacles and I rise because I want to, because I have to.

Some people choose to accept things as they are and not help themselves get more. They’re okay being less than what they could be. I’d say mom and Gooch belong to this category or would that be just me being judgmental? Anyway, their lives are theirs to live even if how they do it affects me so.

But there are those others destined to be more than just themselves. More than pain. More than grief. More than trials and challenges. More than sadness and loneliness. Because they don’t see any other choice but forward. To the end of the line.

To me, it has always been my choice. Strength is. One that by the grace of God, I would and could keep choosing for as long as I live.