hootie & his blowfish have stood the test of time

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Did autumn just happen? We went from 94 degrees and sunny to 75 and cloudy overnight.

I think autumn just happened.

Cripes, there is too much to do. I started accepting loads of commissions because the overtime at work was nonexistent, but then… it came back, and i’ve gotten my sixth day at good old KRH for three weeks in a row. It’s not logical how much i miss that place still. Oh, the memories. It will never be like it was from 2008 to 2010 — before the flood — but it’s still great, even if Lewis is kind of annoying and talks so much that i struggle to finish anything. It’s still KRH.

I had a scare the other night. Muna’s best friend at Central called us, and told us that Kelly had been fired.

WHAT.

I sat there for an hour, depressed, thinking how i’d never work with the beloved Oaf again. And i thought back to all the stuff we’d been through…

…because, as you remember, i didn’t like him at first. He showed up in late 2009 when Isaiah and Miss Diggs were on their way out. That Christmas, i lamented that i was working with this loud annoying guy instead of my normal peoples. I wished that he would go away, but he didn’t…

…then the flood happened, and we were two of the few workers there that didn’t quit or get fired. And we survived the four months of filthy flood madness. Which was followed by the heavy winter of 2010, where we’d be the only two people to brave the icy roads and thus be stuck at KRH all night and most of the day. And then we were both transferred to the stone ring in early 2011. And we’ve been there ever since, watching dumb movies and goofing off and talking shit about losers like Nilley and Gomez, and trying to teach all these new kids like Muna and Dahir the angles of this weird place.

And he was gone? Gone?

Finally, i remembered to call him, and learned that he wasn’t fired. He was working overtime at Omohundro, in fact. It turns out that some OTHER guy named Kelly was just fired. Not R.Kelly, but T.Kelly.

-happiness-

“Sheeee-iit, Dook, if i was fired you would already know. We’d burn this place down. If Sweatt ever tried to fire me, i’d slap her upside her bald-ass head. You already know.”

Wait, i rambled off topic. I’m too busy now because i’m working six days and then trying to do tons of freelance work. It can’t be done. Oh, and Miss Milliken wants to pay me a hundred bucks to write some college essays for her?

I could probably do that. I really wish i still had an essay on file from my college days, because if i could see one, i’d either realize that i was pretty dumb back then and could write much better now, or that i was pretty sharp back then and will sound dumb now in comparison. I honestly don’t know which one it would be.

But i can’t. You know why? Zipdisks. They said those things were the future. And they lied.

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People always want too much of my time. You know what two proposals always annoy the living crap out of my? Any variation of…

“Hey, dude, my friend downloaded this emulator thing on my laptop that has, like, every Nintendo game EVER. Remember all those really difficult old games that took weeks of practice to master, and were fairly repetitive? Want to play them all again, but on a smaller screen, and by tapping on directional arrows and a space bar, making them nigh impossible? Doesn’t that sound like lots of fun? Let’s do this!”

“Hey, dude, i’m getting this thing together with some people, it’s like a production company, because i got ins with these people, and we’re going to be promoting local musicians and artists and everything, man, just all types of everything. And since you like to draw, i was thinking you could provide tons of art to me, at no charge, on some vague promise that it might pay off later. Basically, just draw all of my half-baked, malformed ideas as they come to me. Could you also design me a website? I’m basically asking for a huge, open-ended, one-way commitment. Oh, i also want to get a giant tattoo on my back, can you draw that as well? I have five different and conflicting ideas for this tattoo, and maybe you could combine them and do them all at once, kinda?”

I don’t like hearing these. And i’ve heard them more than once.

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Yeesh, Muna always seems to need a ride home these days. It’s twenty minutes out of my way, man! I’m totally jealous of where she lives. She lives out in one of those places where there’s nothing around her house but other houses. And they are large houses with raised foundations, and their pebbled walkways and terraces and trellises covered in climbing ivy, the immaculate sidewalks and expansive yards with basketball hoops and tennis courts, surrounded by gracefully drooping willow trees and sun-dappled lawns and pastures with cantering ponies and fragrant orchards…

…and i think, fuck, i live in the ghetto or some shit.

Here’s what she looks like, by the way, although these blurry webcam shots don’t really do her justice. Her face looks a littler derpier here than it does in real life.

…but what i really wanna know is, if she lives in such a nice house, why come she gotta borrow like thirty dollars from me and take so long to pay it back?

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Nraaah.

Every now and again, the same thing happens.

Some girl on DeviantArt will start kinda-sorta flirting with me, and i’ll see that they’re some chubby brown-haired dorkgirl, and i’ll want to date them. But they’re usually very far away. So nothing ever happens. But it might some day. From what i understand, some internet flirtations work out.

Eh, probably not for me. Too busy.

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Mitt Romney seems to be flailing right now, but you should still make sure to be ready to vote.

Unless you’re planning to vote for Romney, in which case, what the hell is the matter with you?

Heh.

Sometimes i hear something on right-wing radio that makes me laugh out loud. For instance, remember back when George W. Bush and Sarah Palin were the darlings of the party, they put a huge premium on likability, and trumpeted the importance that the president be a “regular joe” that “you’d want to have a beer with?” And fie to these ivory-tower elitists like Obama, who eat arugala and drink wine! They’re such snobs, who aren’t comfortable eating macaroni and cheese in a bowling alley with Skeeter and Mabel…

…but now they’re stuck with Romney. Obama is going around drinking beer and playing basketball and being bear-hugged by pizza parlor owners while Joe Biden hangs out with bikers. So now, they opine, do you really want a president who is just like you? Don’t we need an ivory-tower elitist, someone who is far removed from the rabble and clearly better than most people? Someone with fancy dancing horses and a golden bathtub, like Mitt Romney? Wouldn’t that be like having royalty? Who wouldn’t want that?

Yeah, they’re desperate.

Still, vote. Please.

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