chinstrap and bellyshirt

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Ooof, oh god.

Nineteen straight days of work. Now i have two days off. There’s no way they’re getting me to come in today or tomorrow. I was just about to sit here and tell you about my crappy life, but then i realized that i just said it all in the email i sent John so i’ll just post that instead…

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It sounds like your job is the place where you can really advance, if not now then later. I wish i had that type of job. God, i’m slumming it. My entire life right now is based on the idea that eventually i’ll get together a good enough portfolio, apply at an animation studio in Burbank, pack my meager belongings into a U-Haul, and move to California. It seems like every animation studio in the world is in Burbank. If that doesn’t happen in the next 2-3 years, i’m failing at life. Fuck.

I hate my job right now, even though i have a cool new coworker who gets high and can appreciate movies like Donnie Darko. I don’t know what our shithead boss is thinking, because it seems like he wants to fire everybody. He’s fired seven people in the last 3 weeks, and while a few of those were justified, some were not. Minor infractions like smoking inside the building or getting into a trivial dispute with a coworker mean automatic termination, even if both parties agree that it’s no big deal. It’s insanity. He seems to want to “get rid of the bad apples” before October or something, but you can’t fire everyone and expect everyone else to work even more overtime. It’s not possible. We’re at the limit.

Last night, he fired Miss Hastings, the kindly (but very nervous and flighty) old woman who works with the Oaf. This is fucking lame. She wasn’t the best worker, but like the Oaf she worked 60-70 hours per week. They tried to get me to work two of her shifts this week, and i refused. I’ve just worked 19 days in a row, man, i can’t keep doing this. Even if i wanted the money i’d refuse out of protest. This shit has gone too far. My boss called me a few minutes ago and was grilling me with questions about some incident that i didn’t even witness. He’s a militaristic asshole who barks things like “don’t presume, you aren’t in the position to know what i’m investigating” and shit like that. I’m getting nervous, as if i might be fired at any time for “being evasive” or something. Nothing would surprise me at this point.

Goddamnit, i have a good scam going. If i have to be working anywhere besides an animation studio in Burbank, i want to work here, where i can focus on my drawing and not be bothered. I’m done with every other type of job i’ve ever had. I don’t ever want to work in another restaurant, gas station, call center, or factory.

Seriously, where did i go wrong in life? I’m trying to salvage things, but i feel like i’m way behind at my age. I’m 33, and i feel like i should have been at this point and at this skill level when i was 23. Crap. The two guys who make that Legend of Korra cartoon that i love so well are both just a few years older than i am. I read their biographies, how they both attended the prestigious Rhode Island School of Design and then worked for years in the trenches on shows like King of the Hill and Family Guy before creating their own stuff and i’m just…. torn apart by jealousy. And here i am, approaching middle age, still slumming for dollars for some prick.

Sometimes i can’t take this shit. Fuck, i just need to get through October when we either get renewed or change companies. I need to stop doing penny-ante commissions for pervy nerds and spend the next year creating a great portfolio. I need life to change before i lose my fucking mind.

……so, how’s by you?

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….that pretty much sums it up.

Miss Hastings is probably not coming back. I’ll miss her. Our idiotic boss has fired the only two people willing to go work midnight overtime at Central. I won’t do it, the Oaf won’t do it, most people won’t do it. I hope they choke over there.

The summer is here, and we’re getting the usual blast of endless heat. Hundred degrees all day without a trace of clouds or rain. Nine weeks until September. Now that the trailer is gone, all i have to do is watch my back, keep an eye on Dahir, and survive until the fall.

2012 is a doozy.

As for that Legend of Korra cartoon that i love so well, the ending of the first season was unbelievably lame. Everything built up to this climax where people die, things are lost, and the heroine has to face the future without her powers… and then they suddenly pull a deus ex machina and everything goes back to normal. I couldn’t believe they wussed out like that. I’ve never seen the last two minutes of anything completely taint the rest.

Eh, still a good show. There’s always the next season.

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