behold an ornithopter

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Mooooh, jeez.

We’ve lived in this new apartment for over a month and the new still hasn’t worn off yet. Every day, i look around and think my god, i’m so glad we’re living here instead of back there. And our dogs are loving the new outside. Every time i take them out for a walk, they just get so damned excited and want to explore every corner of the complex. This place has really… reignited their passion for being dogs. And unlike the last place, we don’t have to avoid half of it, and be on the constant lookout for violent psychos. The last place did have that large field out back, but i think dogs get bored in a big empty field. They seem to like more complex spaces.

Yesterday was the first time that i took the dogs to the vet just by walking around the treeline and through the parking lot of the “Destiny Center” and behind the Subway… yeah, it’s right there. Splendid. And Luna has slimmed down to her ideal weight of 16 lbs. I don’t think i ever realized how much human food my brother was giving them when i wasn’t here. Hopefully i’ve badgered and hectored and nagged him enough that he’s not doing it anymore. Like, when you eat a TV dinner? You just can’t let the dog lick the leftover cheesy fatty alfredo sauce or whatever is left. Seriously, knock it off.

Dude, i haven’t had a TV dinner in years. That’s all i ate as a kid.

We’re getting pretty damned good at making stir fry. I think the key is to use as few ingredients as possible. Chicken, mushrooms, and then one other veg like snow peas or green beans or broccoli, that’s all you really need.

I also wokked up a huge amount of garlic-seasoned green beans. My god, i could eat those things forever and just not ever stop.

That reminds me, i worked a double shift with old Mr. Robins last week, and he confirmed what everyone kind of already knew. Nilley the Snitch? He never stopped eating. As in, his car was stocked with bag after bag of food, and he’d just devour and entire platter of cupcakes. And then a bag of chips. And then a full meal. Followed by a bag of cookies. All while drinking a 12-pack of Mello Yello. So… the mystery of why the guy was an enormous bloated monstrosity has been solved. I mean, i’m horrified, but then again, it’s a case of “if not for the grace of God go i…” because hey, i’m hungry all the time, too. I just don’t eat all the time because if i did, i’d look like a Nilley.

And when i do stuff my face overly, it’s something healthy. Like green beans.

It’s safe to say that nobody misses the Nilley. We hope he’s enjoying his horrible exile at Omohundro and that he never comes back. The crew we have now at this place is nearly perfect. Gordon/Gardener/Robins. Oaf/Hodge/Gomez. Me/Dahir/Muna. No snitches and no troublemakers and no Nillies.

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Wow, i’m pretty much done catching up on Naruto. I’ve watched 520 episodes of Naruto and six Naruto movies. It took a year and three months to do this. It’s better than watching normal TV. I mean… reality TV. It sucks. I saw a few minutes of Duck Dynasty the other day and almost puked with superiority. Have you ever fucking noticed that on these shows, they identify characters every single time they appear? In ten minutes, i saw “Willie’s Dad” and “Willie’s Mom” and “Willie’s brother” pop up every single time.

They didn’t used to do that on television. When Theo would walk onscreen, the words “Cliff Huxtable’s Son” wouldn’t appear underneath him. Mr. Burns wasn’t always labeled as “Homer’s Boss” every time you saw him. You were expected to pay attention.

The worst thing is that every single line they said was so obviously prewritten, and every contrived scenario was so obviously planned out in advance. ARE PEOPLE FOOLED?

FUCK. I’m watching anime here and still get to feel smug. That’s a problem.

I know a few people who watch reality TV ironically, knowing that it is bad and glorying in the badness of it. I can’t judge them, really, because i like bad movies. I can be very amused by horrible, old sci-fi and action films. I think the Twilight movies are pretty fun to watch. But that’s one type of badness, it’s an artful badness, more palatable to me than the badness of reality TV.

Reality TV… it’s like…. okay, a huge, rambling metaphor for you…. it’s like there’s one restaurant in town. You’ve been going to this restaurant your entire life because it’s just tradition, everyone in town eats at this place. But over the years, the food gets worse and worse, the place gets noisier and more annoying. Once, polite middle-aged people dined here with their children. They told long-winded stories and corny jokes. It was kinda square, but decent. But over the years it devolves into a Hooters-type establishment, filled with guffawing frat boys and random skanks, and the menu ceases to feature salads and sandwiches and now only has deep-fried unhealthy garbage. And one day, you enter the restaurant, and a waiter empties a pail of festering pig slop into a table that resembles a trough. He sneers at you and says, “eat that, you goddamned swine! Suuu-iiieeee!” You look around and see that the other customers are shirtless and unkempt and happily lapping up the filthy slop. The waiters chuckle and say to themselves, “look at them, they’ll eat anything. Stupid fucking pigs.” The customers grunt in agreement.

At that point, i stand up and leave the restaurant. I shall go to the grocery store and cook for myself from now on. By that i mean i’m going to spend the next two years watching Breaking Bad and The Sopranos and maybe Ergo Proxy and Martian Successor Nadesico.

Maybe.

Crap, i’m boring.

It’s the start of another glorious week. I woke up four hours early for some reason. What’s for breakfast?

Green beans.

My brother has suddenly decided that he doesn’t like green beans. But i’ve seen him eat green beans his entire life.

Such a diva.

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Aren’t the Oscars soon?

I’m pulling for Beasts of the Southern Wild because… i’ve actually seen that one. Go Hushpuppy!

I fully plan to see Lincoln, The Life of Pi, Zero Dark Thirty, Argo, Django Unchained, Amour, and Silver Linings Playbook when they come out on Netflix, though.

Wait, what is Amour? Skip that one, probably.

The movie i really want to see is Cloud Atlas, but it doesn’t come out until May. I feel like such a chump for not seeing that one in the theater when i had the chance. I’m sorry, Wachowskis. I’m so sorry.

>__<

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Jeez, this is the worst political cartoon i’ve ever seen.

I like how rapey Obama even broke Liberty’s torch. What a bastard.

Conservatives are not good at humor. Why is this.