a perfectly good moment to throw your life away

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Wooo!

So there’s at least four people reading this. That’s cool.

Anyway, here’s the crappy bullshit that’s been going on.

It started over a month ago. When i walk our three small dogs, too often i run into another tenant who has a large dog running around with no leash, which is against the law. Most of the time, they have some sort of verbal control over their beastie, so it’s cool and no one cares…

…but there’s this guy. A greasy-faced, broken-toothed asshole with a large dog. The dog is not, you know, snapping and vicious, but he’s three times the size of our dogs, and will run up and lunge and bark at them while this freak is 200 feet away not giving a shit. The first time this happened, i yelled at him, and he yelled back at me.

SHUT UP! MOTHERFUCKER! STOP YELLIN AT MAH DOG MOTHERFUCKER. HE JUST PLAYIN. SHUT YO FUCKING MOUTH.

And i tell him, over and over, his dog has to be on a leash if he can’t verbally control it. State law. Apartment complex policy. Godzilla is a very old dachsund, and his back will hurt him if he fights and strains against his harness with another dog. It happened again yesterday, and i told him again — not yelling, just in a loud tone of voice — sir, you have to control your animal. It’s the law. This cannot keep happening!

AIN’T NO FUCKING LAW. SHUT THE FUCK UP MOTHERFUCKER. AIN’T NO FUCKING LAW. SHUT YO FUCKING MOUTH.

I keep repeating that it’s the law, and he walks up to me, acts as if he has a gun in his pants, and says SAY ONE MORE WORD. SAY ONE MORE WORD AND I’LL BLOW YO HEAD OFF MOTHERFUCKER.

So i smile at him in what i hope is a contemptuous manner, and walk away. Ever seen that episode of The Boondocks about the “nigga moment?”

…wait a minute. I’m white!

I’m hoping it was like that. I’m pretty certain that he didn’t have a gun. But you never know.

I go to the apartment manager, whom i’ve complained to before about this creep. The real manager is never here these days, it’s always this poor old lady at the desk who doesn’t like to get involved. I need his name and number in case it happens again and i have to file a police report, and she doesn’t know and has to check with the real manager, can’t get her on the phone, etc.

While we’re sitting there in the office, dude walks by with his dog on a leash. (Apparently, he has the dog on a leash about half of the time, but then lets him off to run around.. She asks if that’s him, and i say, yeah, that’s him. Let’s go talk to him. I have a printout of the Rutherford County Ordinance that describes the leash law. So we walk outside, and wait for him to pass. He acts like he doesn’t see me, so i approach him and say that we need to talk…

SHUT THE FUCK UP! I AIN’T NO ONE TO FUCK WITH. I AIN’T NO ONE TO FUCK WITH. I BEEN TO JAIL ONCE I DON’T GIVE A FUCK. I WENT TO JAIL FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER MOTHERFUCKER SO SEE WHAT HAPPENS. HE ON A LEASH NOW, MOTHERFUCKER, DON’T YOU SEE THAT? YOU TRYIN TO RUN UP ON ME, I GOT WITNESSES!

The old desk lady tries to say to him as he walks past us, sir, your dog has to be on a leash, always, not just sometimes.

HE ON A LEASH. I AIN’T NO ONE TO FUCK WITH. HE FUCK WITH ME, SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

Fucking hell. I was actually under the impression that we could get this fuckhole to sit down and listen to what we have to say. But it’s hopeless. He’s one of those congenitally pissed-off pieces of human garbage who thinks everyone is against him.

Today, i was told that the manager finally spoke to him, and he was mad and yelling at HER, screaming that they should have told him sooner that he had to have his dog on a leash.

What. An. Asshole.

Hopefully, that’s the end of it. If he threatens to shoot me again, i guess i’ll call the police or something.

A lot of this happened on my birthday. And then my brother said he was going to pick up some chinese food, but when i woke up he just shrugged and said “Oh. I forgot. Sorry.”

Worst birthday ever.

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