Abuse

My husband said it tonight. "Its a miracle you are where you are today." I new step has been taken or should I say not taken but turned in a different light. I was abused, abused badly, verbally and physically by my Father. Also by my brother. Not till later years knowing I was continually sexually abused by my other brother. I lived in constant fear. Stress became a norm in my daily routine. I look back and cry at how badly my mom had it and know that she is the strongest woman I have ever known. She stayed for us. I remember the things she used to say and now know why she said them. We have never been so close.

I read this book and I cry, I cry for the hope I now have and look around the room at the green painted walls in our house and dinning room table and I see love. I see a future I never should have. A future I have only because of my moms prayers for my husband that day I was born. She held me and pray for the man I look at today. He would never hit me, he would never abuse my with his words. He holds me gently and know I can be whoever I want to be because there is no role playing in this house. There is no need to put on a show and act like someone our partner wants us to be to be excepted or loved. I don’t deserve this life, a life I never believed could be this could good. My mom made one decision and never believed life could get that bad. I am where I am because I have a family that prays, that prays for me and had always prayed for me that I would never live a life of abuse that I once lived.